Beneath the Twinkling Stars
by Multifandomfuckfest
Summary: A Sequel to Beneath the Onlooking Cliff. The Tenth Doctor and Donna must cope with the repercussions of the three months he spent as the human Alec Hardy. How do the two adjust back to life traveling on the TARDIS? Can Donna cope with losing Alec but gaining the Doctor back while dealing with her pregnancy?
1. A New Beginning

Sitting on the jump seat Donna watched the Doctor bounce around the console materializing the TARDIS, "I'll be right back," he promised, "don't move a muscle," he warned pausing at the door, "and I'll know too," he winked leaving her alone.

"Bloody alien," she sighed letting her leg kick back and forth rubbing against the grating as she stared at the door. Donna had been waiting what she thought was five minutes when she stood up, "since when do I listen to him," she scoffed marching toward the door.

The TARDIS hummed in protest, "oh hush, I can take care of myself," she spat readying herself for whatever lie outside the door.

"Donna," the Doctor exclaimed rushing back in and nearly trampling over her. His faster than light reflexes kicked in grabbing her waist and keeping her upright. "Whoa, are you okay," he worried aloud.

"I'd be more fine if you watched where you were going," she shot.

The Doctor rolled his eyes, "maybe you should listen to me. If you hadn't moved you wouldn't have been bumped," he grinned.

Realizing the placement of his hands Donna took her own weight back pushing the Doctor's hands away from her and taking note of something sticking out of his pocket, "what's that," she queried.

"You'll see soon enough," the Doctor promised. "Go, sit," he urged pushing her to the jump seat and sitting her down. The Doctor pranced about the console causing the TARDIS to materialize once again. He beamed brightly holding his hand out to Donna, "close your eyes," he ordered.

"No," Donna argued.

He stood there waiting patiently with his arm outstretched, "Donna, come on. It's a special surprise just for you," he clarified. "I want to do this for you, as a thank you," he added.

Donna bit her lip trying to hide her grin, "okay," she hesitantly agreed taking his hand.

"Eyes closed," he commanded.

Squishing her eyes Donna's world went black. She could feel her heart beat speed faster in anticipation of the unknown. It actually worried her. Trying not to focus on the fear rising within her Donna focused on the feel of his soft, long fingers wrapped around hers. She ran her thumb over them, tightening her grip and causing the Doctor to wiggle them in response. Donna could hear as the TARDIS door opened and the Doctor slowed, "small step down," he instructed as she reached her foot out searching for the ground so she didn't trip.

"If I fall," she threatened finally finding the ground and stepping.

The Doctor chuckled, "I've got you," he promised as she could feel his other hand position itself on her waist, "a few more steps," he guided.

"It's bloody cold," Donna shivered feeling the wind rustle against her skin making her hair stand on end.

Feeling his hand let go Donna panicked, "Doctor," she squeaked reaching out to find him and beginning to open her eyes in alarm.

"Keep them closed," he ordered, "I'm still here," his voice boomed in her ear. She could feel his chest flush against her outstretched hand as he rustled with something.

Donna could hear the sounds of the city around here, "I look like an idiot don't I," she sighed

"No," he assured her placing something over her shoulders, "there. That's much better eh," he asked.

Noticing the absence of the cool air Donna smiled, "thanks," she said as the Doctor took her hand again.

He tugged on her hand, "come on," he urged continuing to walk. They took a few more steps before the Doctor paused, "keep your eyes closed and sit down," he instructed.

"What," Donna shot cracking her eyes open.

"Closed," he ordered covering her face with his other hand.

She had an urged to bite it but instead she stuck her tongue at him barely missing his hand, "where am I supposed to sit," she questioned.

"On the ground. I'll help," he guaranteed peeling his hand back from her eyes ensuring they were closed before taking her other hand and waiting for her to sit.

Donna began to lower her body to the ground, going down on her knees until reaching the ground and sliding to her bum. She could feel the Doctor shrink with her, "okay. Pivot your legs over to the left," he laughed.

Beginning to turn she couldn't feel anything beneath her leg, "there's nothing there," she gasped.

"Do you trust me," the Doctor queried.

Pausing Donna shook her head, "of course," she clarified.

"Then swing your legs," he told her.

Listening to him she did as he said feeling his arms around her ensuring she was safe, "if I open my eyes to sharks I swear to God," Donna warned.

"No sharks," he chuckled shaking his head resulting in his fringe brushing against her forehead. She could feel his hands pull her back, "don't lean forward," he advised letting go of her. Donna could feel the Doctor situate himself beside her, "you can open them now," he chirped.

Donna pressed them closed for a moment longer before reaching out for his hand. Intertwining their fingers Donna opened her eyes. Before her was the city of London. A familiar sight, one that she had seen from this exact point of view before. Looking around Donna saw the TARDIS behind them, "this is," she began to say emotion welling within her.

"Yep," the Doctor beamed pulling a bundle from his pocket, "chips," he asked unwrapping the paper.

Laughing Donna shook her head, "you brought me here for chips," she rolled her eyes.

"I brought you here because you wanted to spend time together and I couldn't think of a better place to get reacquainted than the place where we first became acquainted," he explained.

Taking a chip from the package Donna munched on it, "are you sure you didn't want to just show off you had your memory back," she said nudging him in the side.

"Well maybe prove that to you too," he chuckled.

Silence hung in the air between them, as the sounds of the busy city echoed around the rooftop. She watched as he happily ate the greasy chips, "you must've missed chips," she finally commented.

"That's not all I missed," the Doctor winked.

"Oh really," Donna inquired expecting an answer. Shrugging he looked away staring at the millions of people below them. "Doctor," she began, "what was it like?"

She wasn't sure if he was ignoring her or hadn't heard her question. Donna was about to ask again when he met her eyes, "you know. You lived through it," he volunteered.

"No," she protested. "I know what it was like for me and sort of what it was like for Alec," she scoffed, "I don't even know all of that. But, I have no idea what it was like for you. What did it feel like? Were you inside seeing everything or were you really gone," she blurted. Letting go of her hand the Doctor tugged on his ear staring back at the city.

"I was in the watch, like I told you I would be," he said.

Donna's shoulders sunk, "but that's all I know. Could you feel things? Did you know what was going on? I just, I need to know," she pleaded.

The Doctor looked at the chips in his lap, "do you really," he questioned

"Yes," she told him. After another silent moment Donna grabbed his hand gently squeezing it, "please," she pushed.

He scratched the back of his neck with his free hand still not looking at her, "it was like a dream," he confessed.

"Did you know what was going on," Donna asked needing to know.

The Doctor took a chip, shoving it into his mouth giving himself more time to come up with an answer. Watching him chew then swallow it Donna patiently waited. "Yes, well, sometimes," he stuttered. "Like I said it was as if I was dreaming. Sometimes I felt trapped other times it was like I was so close to release," he paused. "I could sense his intense feelings often but no matter what I could always feel you."

"What," Donna gulped feeling her cheeks flush red.

"You're presence," the Doctor quickly clarified meeting her eyes, "I could always feel your presence. It was almost as if you were always there."

It was Donna who looked away this time unable to take his gaze on her. She could feel him still looking at her, "you were in my purse," she whispered.

"Always by your side," he winked.

"Shut up," she scoffed shoving his shoulder.

The Doctor wrapped his arm around her, "thank you. For taking care of me. I don't think I can ever thank you enough," he offered.

"Well I don't know about the chips but the view is a good start," she laughed resting her head on his shoulder.

Realizing his arm was still around her she began to blush again. She reached over breaking a piece of fish off. The Doctor leaned in tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "Donna I," he paused swallowing hard.

Her heart skipped a beat, this was it, this was why he brought her here of all places. He was going to tell her he couldn't do it. That it was too much, that he didn't want a child, especially one that wasn't his choice. "Um, I think it's getting cooler. Let's head in," he suggested.

"Doctor," her voice quivered as he began to stand, "just tell me," she begged.

He looked down at her, "it's cold," he reasoned.

She shook her head looking down at the street below her, "when do you want to take me home," she asked looking at the unaware people.

The Doctor's knees buckled as he sunk back beside her, "you want to go home," he squeaked.

"No," she whispered biting her lip.

He reached his hand out, "okay then, come on," he urged.

She wanted to scream at him, she wanted to tell him no, to tell him everything circling her head, to beg him to never leave her and to make everything go back to the way it used to be and to tell him how much she desperately missed him, "okay," she sighed allowing him to help her up.

Reaching the TARDIS door Donna looked around taking the scene in, "are you okay," he asked.

"Yeah," she affirmed continuing to look around. The Doctor stepped closer placing a hand on her shoulder, "so much has changed since we were here last," she conceded.

"True," he agreed moving his hand. For the tiniest instant Donna thought he was going to place his hand on her stomach. It looked like he wanted to but instead his hand lingered between them before he nervously tucked it in his pocket.

He stood there waiting for Donna to step in first, "thank you, this was a great idea," she said. She wanted to hug him but she could feel that things were tense and now was not the time for hugging so she walked inside.

"I'm glad you liked it," the Doctor commented emotion gone from his voice.

Things were so odd between them, there was no hiding it. Donna paused in the console room, "I think I'm going to turn in. The lack of sleep is finally catching up with me," she yawned stretching.

The Doctor nodded, "okay," he agreed as she began walking down the hall to her room.

When she made it to the door Donna turned to the Doctor who had been following her, "good night," she said wishing him well.

He inched forward as if he expected to follow her inside but Donna closed the door resting the back of her head on it, "I'm rubbish," she sighed disappointed in all that she left unsaid.

Changing into her pajamas Donna crawled into her bed looking around. Donna knew that the TARDIS had put everything back where it once had been but something didn't feel right. Everything felt so cold and out of place. Her room felt so big and she missed him. Pulling the covers around her Donna noticed a new picture on her side table. In a frame was a picture of her and Alec, not one the TARDIS manufactured but one they had taken at the beach. Alec was smiling while kissing her cheek while Donna was blushing in the middle of a huge laugh. She picked the picture up, studying it briefly before placing it face down.

Laying on her back she could do nothing but stare at the ceiling. If she laid on her side she was aware of how empty her bed was, if she lay on her stomach she was focused on the fact that there was a growing child within her. When she did begin to doze off her mind flashed with images of the Doctor, no Alec dying and screaming her name or her begging him not to leave. Donna wasn't going to get any sleep at this rate. Refusing to look at the time Donna got up wandering into the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea.

The kettle was just beginning to whistle when the Doctor walked in, "I thought you were turning in," he inquired seeing her.

"I couldn't sleep," she sighed pouring him a cup too and setting them on the table.

The Doctor sat across from her, "bad dreams," he wondered aloud.

"No," she answered biting her lip. He nodded letting the topic drop, "we're never going to be the same again are we," she finally blurted.

Choking on his tea the Doctor set the cup down coughing, "what? Why do you say that," he questioned.

"Everything is awkward between us, can barely handle being in the same room. We aren't what we used to be and I don't know if we can be again," she confessed.

Reaching out the Doctor placed his hand over hers, "Donna we can make it like it used to be," he reminded her.

"I miss him, I miss you and I'm so confused because nothing makes sense anymore. You used to make sense, this used to make sense but right now I don't know what makes sense," she sobbed hiding her face in her hands.

"I'm right here," he announced.

Donna shook her head, "you said things after you turned back to you and I can't process it because you're my best friend and I don't know if you mean you want to still be best friends or if you want more than that," she rambled.

He sat there confused and unsure what to say, his eyes wide in shock, "I, um, I, do you want to be friends still?"

"Yes, of course I do," Donna promised.

"Okay then," the Doctor grinned, "friends," he promised holding his hand out for her to shake.

Donna sat there confused by his show. She wanted to scream. He said those things and now they were back to friends. Friends having a child, who had sex, who had seen each other's bodies, who loved each other. Well, she was the only one in that last category but she was in love with someone who didn't exist, not anymore. "Fine," he agreed picking up her tea and ignoring his hand.

The Doctor watched her confused, "you're okay with that," he inquired.

"Yeah," she sighed, "why wouldn't I be," Donna shot focusing on her cup.

He watched her momentarily, "did I say or do something to upset you," he asked.

"No, why would you have. You're perfect," she finished standing up and leaving him in the kitchen alone. This wasn't going to work out. She could feel it already. There was no way they could go back to the way things were.

In case the Doctor truly hadn't caught onto to the fact that things weren't okay Donna made sure he knew by slamming the door loud enough he could hear. So hard that even the TARDIS hummed in protest, "sorry girl," Donna apologized rubbing the wall.

She was so tired of constantly trying to push Alec away that all she wanted was her best friend to want to stay but he didn't seem to care anymore. Donna didn't understand how he could just pretend that nothing happened between them while he was a human. Even if it was a dream he had the memories now, certainly he remembered things.

Donna crawled into bed pulling the covers over her head. If the Doctor was going to pretend that everything was normal and nothing had happened then she could to. "Don't let him near my room until I wake up," she huffed at the TARDIS flopping over on her side.

Hearing the ship hum in agreement Donna laid there unable to sleep. She was so frustrated and alone that she didn't know what to do. Nothing was going to make this better and the worst thing was she was still without her best friend but now she didn't have Alec either. At least he had been some sort of solace in the night. Actually, he had become sort of her security blanket.

It was the crack of light shining from her closet that got Donna's attention. Seeing it surprised her. Especially when at first she thought the TARDIS had failed and let the Doctor into her room. Standing up Donna walked over to close the door when she saw what the TARDIS was trying to provide her with. Hanging up was something she had become pretty regular to seeing, Alec's Broadchurch police department shirt. He had been given it on his orientation day and would often wear it to bed. Donna had always thought it kind of cute, like how one would wear a superhero shirt. Picking it up she inhaled it, it still smelled like him, like the Doctor yes, but different.

Donna hugged the shirt to her and then grabbed the teddy bear that was sitting on her bureau clutching it tightly. She had seen it in his items at the hospital briefly but was too worried about whether or not he would survive to investigate. There was a tiny note attached to its paw, "I thought our wee one could use its first teddy. I can't wait to see her sleeping beside it. You are going to make a wonderful mum," Donna read aloud. It was almost too much for her. Taking the two items back with her she crawled into bed again holding onto them as she drifted off to sleep. Even if the Doctor was clueless and not on her list of people she wanted to be around she had to stick by him, their child needed a dad and if Alec had cared this much then the Doctor could too.


	2. The Silence is Deafening

Two weeks had passed since their horrid first night back on the TARDIS. Things hadn't improved much. The time they spent together was occupied by fighting Zygons, trying to hide while being hunted, and coming up against Siltheen. Donna was quickly realizing that growing a tiny time lord took more out of her body than she was willing to admit. Not only was she eating more than usual but she was also tiring much faster and having to push herself to keep up with the Doctor.

The one thing Donna surely did not want to do was ask him to slow down or show any sort of weakness giving him reason to take her home. She found the intensity of her nausea had subsided when she wasn't eating anything but the bars the TARDIS provided her with. Donna was having a hard time even being around the kitchen whenever the Doctor cooked due to her heightened sense of smell and his horrible taste.

However, the biggest change Donna had noticed were her boobs. There were ginormous. As if they weren't already big enough the suckers were growing and making the running even tougher. But the hugest problem was that she was about to burst from her bras and shirts. Donna was dreading talking to the Doctor about it, especially because home is the last place she wanted to go. She didn't want to tell her mum but she knew that her tops would only last another week before the mighty beasts broke free.

Unlucky for her Donna didn't have to bring up the topic of going home. When they were in the Andromeda Galaxy visiting an innocent art gallery the two were caught up running away from an explosion, as was how their trips usually ended. The blast knocked both of them to the ground. Thankfully neither was hurt but when the Doctor suggested they go to the medbay for him to check her out Donna put her foot down. She had allowed him to be overly cautious but by the time they reached the TARDIS Donna was over it and locked herself in her room to escape the Doctor's pleading to check her out.

It wasn't until she felt the TARDIS land that she came out worried that this had been his straw. Walking out into the console room the Doctor was standing by the console, "so you're just going to take me home without warning," she dared.

"No," the Doctor squeaked. "I just wanted to get us away from there," he told her.

She crossed her arms leaning against the doorway, "and you didn't land us in the vortex. So, where are we," Donna pushed.

"Earth," he said confirming her suspicions.

Donna sighed picking at her nail varnish, "you could have just done this a long time ago and saved us both this last week," she sighed.

"I didn't think you needed to be checked out last week. After the fall I think its best. Especially with how tired you've been lately and the dizziness you've been having," he explained.

Her eyes widened, "you knew about that," she stuttered.

The Doctor tugged on his ear, "it's my job to know," he offered taking a step closer to her. "I understand that you don't want me to look you over but I thought maybe you might be willing to let Martha have a look," he hoped, "I haven't told her yet in case you said no," he quickly added hoping to prevent a slap.

Relieved that her spaceman wasn't exiling her to her mum's Donna could feel her heart return to a normal pace, "I'd be okay with that. But, I don't know, how do we tell her," she stammered.

He smiled, "I'm sure we can explain everything to her," the Doctor paused, "well, not everything," he said blushing bright red.

"We have to tell her something," Donna fretted.

Tugging his ear the Doctor nodded, "rightly so," he agreed rocking on his heels.

"How about the truth," Donna snarled after he stood there thinking.

"The truth," he squeaked.

Donna pressed her lips together, "yeah. Is that so hard for you," she sighed marching down the ramp, "fine. I'll tell her," she muttered to herself. Stepping outside she was met with UNIT headquarters. It was a tall building with glass windows as far as she could see. The Doctor scurried behind her as Donna made her way to reception to ask for Martha, "hello," she greeted the receptionist, "I need to see Doctor Jones," Donna explained.

"Do you have an appointment," the middle aged woman asked.

Rolling her eyes Donna shook her head, "no, I'm a friend," she responded.

"If you don't have an appointment I can't help you," the receptionist told her.

"Um, hello," the Doctor interrupted popping out from behind Donna, "need to see Martha Jones, official business," he said.

The receptionist's mouth dropped open, "yes, sir, Doctor, sir, right away," she stuttered.

He moved to take Donna's hand but stopped inched short, "come on," he nodded to the elevator. The Doctor kept looking anywhere but at her although Donna could see him staring at her in the steel doors. As the elevator dinged the two got on, Donna stood here as he hit the button indicating the sixth floor. She followed him off the elevator and through a maze of cubicles until arriving at an office marked with Jones.

"Martha," she chirped seeing the young doctor.

Looking up from her desk Martha's eyes lit up, "Donna, Doctor," she greeted standing up to hug them. Donna eagerly hugged Martha back as the Doctor stood there awkwardly allowing Martha to hug him. "What brings you here? Have screamers escaped from again," she sang.

"No," the Doctor shook his head, "we're here on personal business," he whispered closing her door behind them.

The Doctor carefully took out his sonic beeping it around the room. Donna was about to ask what he was doing when put up his finger to shush her and moved to Martha's phone. Picking it up he soniced the back causing a puff of smoke to appear. "What are you doing," Martha shouted.

"You were being monitored," he explained, "likely just routine but we need the utmost secrecy with this," the Doctor warned.

Worry crossed Martha's face, "what's wrong," she fretted.

Donna worried her lip, "it's me," she started, "I'm pregnant."

"Congratulations," Martha cheered throwing her arms around Donna excitedly, "so what's his name," she questioned.

"We haven't even thought let alone talked about one," Donna stammered.

Martha paused looking her over confused, "the father, who is the father," she clarified.

Staring down at her hands Donna refused to look up and meet Martha's eyes. Looking between Donna and the Doctor, Martha was unsure what to say or do, "is the baby human," she carefully asked.

Refusing to look up Donna nodded, "yes," she confirmed.

"Well," the Doctor interrupted, "part human," he corrected. Leaning back Martha sat against her desk waiting for an explanation, "it's mine," he stammered.

Bursting into laughter Martha keeled over, "nice one," she snorted looking at the two of them, "like you two," she paused noticing neither of them were smiling let alone laughing. "I thought you weren't," she asked confused.

"We aren't," the Doctor countered. "She fell today and she's been dizzy. If you could ensure everything is fine," he hinted changing the subject.

Donna shook her head, "no, not just that I'll need a doctor for the entire pregnancy and there is no one that I trust more than you," she revealed.

"I'd be honored," Martha smiled, "I assume you want this kept away from unit," she suggested.

"Yes, they can't know," he agreed, "you can use the TARDIS," the Doctor offered scratching the back of his neck.

Martha reached for her jacket, "I'm ready when you are," she smirked.

The whole time in UNIT until they began to walk back to the TARDIS Donna felt numb. She didn't know how one was supposed to feel in this situation. As they began to make it back to the TARDIS Donna could feel something welling within her, although unsure what it was. If she hadn't known better she'd have thought it was dread but possibly it was worry mixed with a side of excitement. It was wrong for her to be excited about this right? It shouldn't be something to be happy about. Especially not given the situation.

Back aboard the TARDIS Donna still felt a sense of anxiety regarding being checked out. As they entered the sickbay Donna sat on the table waiting for whatever was going to happen next. "How long have you been feeling dizzy," Martha asked pulling a notebook from her pocket.

"A few days," Donna lied.

"No," the Doctor corrected, "for about a week," he informed Martha.

Martha wrote down what he said meeting Donna's eyes, "is this true," she asked.

Nodding Donna bit her lip, "mhmm," she agreed.

"And when you fell today did you hit anything," Martha inquired.

"No, I was just bumped around with the explosion," she clarified.

Martha wrote a few more notes and then put her notebook away, "I'll have other questions to ask you later," she paused, "at another time," she said in a lower voice. "I'd like to have a look to make sure," she said turning behind to the sink and washing her hands. "Can you lie back for me," she asked pulling down a monitor. Facing the Doctor she looked around, "do you have an ultrasound attachment," Martha questioned.

"Yes," the Doctor chirped opening a drawer and handing her what she needed.

Attaching it to the screen Martha motioned to Donna's top, "I'm going to need under there," she hinted. Pulling her top up and baring her stomach Donna refused to meet the Doctor's eyes as he stood lurking in the corner. "Are you ready to see your baby," Martha asked.

Donna nodded, "we've already seen it," she sighed staring at the screen.

"I haven't," the Doctor protested a little too eagerly. He looked at Martha then met Donna's eyes, "is it okay that I'm a little bit excited? I don't think, you don't have to be," he stuttered realizing he might have made a mistake.

Taking a deep breath Donna bit her lip, "no, it's fine. I mean it sort of is exciting. You know, growing a human it's kind of a big deal," she laughed.

Martha watched their exchange, "you won't be able to see much," she reasoned continuing on with her duties. Martha prepared everything she would need, "this is going to be cold," she warned, "I won't be able to determine the sex until you are further along," Martha began to explain.

"No need for that. It's a boy," the Doctor beamed.

She met Donna's eyes, "he knows. Telepathic field and all that," Donna explained waving her hand.

Looking back to the monitor Donna stared ahead waiting for Martha to finish her job. More than anything Donna wanted to avoid the Doctor's eyes, especially during this moment. Alec had seen the baby. He should remember what that was like right? When she showed him the scan it had been a heartfelt moment but with the Doctor she had no idea what to expect. "Okay there's the baby," Martha noted moving the ultrasound machine across Donna's belly. She paused pressing a button and zooming in.

Donna couldn't believe her eyes, "two hearts," she gasped, "I mean I know you said. But he had one and now he has two," she said in disbelief.

"They both look healthy," Martha remarked.

"Of course they are," the Doctor beamed.

Martha rotated the joystick to get a better look at the child' body, "does everything look normal from a time lord perspective," she inquired.

"Um, yea," he squeaked scratching the back of his neck.

Both Donna and Martha looked at him unnerved, "what aren't you saying," Donna demanded before Martha had a chance.

"I think so," he clarified.

"You think so," Donna yelped, "what do you mean think," she pushed.

The Doctor paced the room, "time lords don't procreated in the sense that you humans do. We use looms," he began to confess.

"Looms? You grow them," Donna raised her voice.

He paused by the door, "there was a curse and our women couldn't," he trailed off, "this is different," he finally stuttered.

"Different," she blurted at his choice of words, "what is so different? Do you even know what I'm going to go through? Am I going to be pregnant for twenty years growing a human time lord hybred," she shouted.

She felt Martha's hand on her arm, "you need to stay," Martha began to say.

"Calm, I need to stay calm. I know that much," Donna cut her off. "Doctor, how long did a time lord pregnancy last? Do you even know that? Can you tell me anything? Will I even be okay," her voice wavered staring at him.

He looked up meeting her eyes, "of course you'll be okay Donna," he finally answered.

"You know that? You can promise that for sure," Donna whimpered too much for her own liking.

The Doctor stared down at his feet, "I'll make sure of it," he promised, "Donna, you took care of me these past few months let me take care of you," he paused. "Do you think you could trust me enough to allow that," he asked looking up and into her eyes.

Donna couldn't believe what she was hearing let alone what she was seeing. The Doctor was talking and saying things that echoed Alec's own words, his eyes weren't that of the oncoming storm but the vulnerable Alec she has spent so much time with.

Stepping closer the Doctor patiently waited for Donna to look at him, "please," he begged.

Unable to find the words or courage to talk she nodded her head, "okay," Donna finally said.

Martha watched their exchange, "can I talk to Donna alone," for a bit, "I need to gather some personal information," she alluded to.

She watched as the Doctor left them alone in the room. "I don't want to talk about it," Donna warned refusing to meet her eyes.

Pulling her notepad back out Martha shrugged, "fine, I won't ask," she confirmed. "When was your last menstrual cycle?"

"I have no idea," she scoffed leaning back against the wall.

"Donna," she said eyeing her.

Biting her lip Donna sunk further into the wall, "you know what it's like on the TARDIS. Days blur together. I honestly don't know," Donna sobbed.

"How am I supposed to calculate when you conceived or your due date," Martha sighed.

Donna laughed to herself as if she was losing her mind, "oh I know when I conceived. There's only one possible option," she scoffed.

"Okay, any previous pregnancies," she asked.

"Nope," Donna shook her head.

Watching her write down ore notes on papers Donna sat there, "any sexually transmitted infections," Martha questioned.

"Not that I know of," she shrugged.

Martha looked up from her note pad meeting Donna's eyes, "when was the last time you were tested," she question to clarify.

"Um, way before this all happened," she recalled. "Oh God, you don't think I could have caught space herpes from him do you? I don't want my lady parts to start glowing green or tentacles to randomly pop out of somewhere," she worried.

Bursting into laughter Martha couldn't help but smile, "I'm sorry," she apologized seeing Donna's serious face. "I don't know what type of alien ones exist, you should ask the Doctor," she suggested.

"No, you should," Donna pushed, "we don't talk about that. Please don't make me ask him. I've had to deal with enough," she began to sob.

She paused looking at Donna, "maybe it would help to talk about it," Martha hinted.

"No," Donna protested.

"Okay," continued Martha trying to keep her professional demeanor rather than someone whose friend was hurting, "any drug use, smoking or drinking?"

Looking at her hands Donna nodded, "I had a cigarette way before I was pregnant but I had been drinking before I found out," she confessed. "Not a lot," Donna added quickly, "but more than usual," she frowned. "But I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant," she offered.

Offering her a warm smile Martha placed a hand on Donna's arm, "that's perfectly fine," she comforted. "Have you noticed anything unusual yet," she inquired.

"I was really sick, really bad morning sickness but I've been trying to keep it under control the last week," Donna explained.

Martha nodded noting what she said, "how," she asked.

"Um, well I haven't been very hungry and the TARDIS provided me with these," she explained pulling out a bar from her pocket.

Taking it Martha read the back, "its good when you aren't able to eat but you need to be having balanced meals," she encouraged. "I think that's all for now history wise. With your age and all of the unknowns I'd like to do some testing," she cautioned.

"Okay," Donna agreed.

"And I'll need to preform a pap smear," she informed Donna. "Do you have any questions," Martha asked.

Donna nodded, "um, yeah, do I or um, can I continue to travel? With the Doctor," she queried holding her breath for an answer.

"I don't see a reason not to but we both know what it's like traveling with the Doctor. As long as you are being careful, taking care of yourself, and eating well and I don't see why you can't have a full, productive pregnancy," Martha promised. "Let me just find a gown," she hesitated looking around the room. Unable to find one Martha opened the door, "Doctor do you know where," Martha began when Donna saw it.

"There is one," she sighed slipping off the table and grabbing the cover that had been generously provided by the TARDIS sensing the need.

The Doctor popped his head in the room, "did you need something," he asked.

"Um, yeah, I have a few questions for you. We can talk out here. I'll be back in a bit," Martha promised leaving Donna alone in the room.


	3. Talking is the First Step

Donna slipped her top off unsure what else Martha might need to do. She was bent over shimmying her leggings down when the Doctor burst in, "you think I have space herpes," he boomed.

"Out," Donna demanded looking up at him as her trousers were around her ankles and her breasts were hanging barely contained by her bra that was quickly losing the fight.

The Doctor stilled at the scene before him seeing her. His mouth dropped open unsure what to say until he shook off whatever thought clouded his mind, "how many people do you think I've slept with," he demanded to know.

"How am I supposed to know," she dared clamoring to cover herself. "If you haven't noticed now is not the time," Donna shot.

"Now is exactly the time," the Doctor pushed, "what do you think? That I'm some sort of space Casanova," he asked.

Donna's jaw clenched, "you left me. Alone. You abandoned me. Set me up to play your bloody wife with no instructions. How am I supposed to know if I was the first the way you go around flirting with others," she shot.

"I would never," he began.

She shook her head, "how do I know that? I was shut off from everyone I know. I was scared and you left me. You don't get to go around acting like you're on some sort of high horse because you're not. Future you was off gallivanting around with some new companion and I begged you to help me and you said 'things were in play,'" she mocked.

"You talked to me," the Doctor asked confused.

Nodding she refused to meet his eyes, "I'd rather not talk about it while I'm half naked," she reminded him of their predicament.

"We need to talk about this," he affirmed.

"I have been waiting the last week to talk to you! I have been waiting for you to really say what is going on, to give me a clue but nothing until you think I'm assaulting your character because I don't know how many other humans you've slept with! You are absurd," she accosted. "I have been crying myself to sleep the last three months begging to talk to you, begging to have you back and when you finally are back you aren't here. I didn't just lose Alec I've lost you too," she panted allowing all her rage to leak from within her.

Standing before her the Doctor looked so small, so human, so without answers, "I'm sorry," he offered.

"Sorry, like I haven't heard that a million times. Don't be sorry Doctor, do something, feel something, because if you don't," she paused shaking her head, "I don't know how much longer I can stand here and pretend to not to care before I leave. It's tearing me apart," she revealed.

Hearing the creak of the door Donna realized at the same time as the Doctor that Martha had left. She sighed staring at her naked toes, "get dressed and we'll talk," he promised closing the door and leaving Donna alone.

She felt so bad, she had just come unglued on him. Poor guy would never want her around now, especially not if these hormones could become worse. But, Martha was right. They needed to talk, to really talk and figure this out. Even if she didn't know what had happened she wasn't a dunce and she knew the Doctor well enough to understand how clueless he could be, especially when it came to women. Donna pulled her leggings back up and tossed her top on stepping into the hallway. She expected to see the Doctor there but it was empty. Donna knew she shouldn't be surprised, running is what he did best and she loved him for that but running wasn't going to get them anywhere in this situation.

Marching down the hallway Donna was on a mission. She wasn't going to just allow him to barge in and see her half naked then run off and hide when she agreed to talk. He wasn't Alec and this wasn't them playing house anymore. Not that it had been much play in the first place but now they had a child counting on them, a child that needed the Doctor no matter how stupid he could be. "I don't know where you are but you better get your skinny arse out here right now," she demanded upon seeing an empty galley.

"I'm right here," the Doctor said startling her from behind. "I was sending Martha one of those text message notes to apologize," he shrugged.

Donna bit her lip, "I thought you left," she whispered.

"I couldn't tell," the Doctor winked allowing their words to lay between them. He sniffed loudly, "we need to talk," he reminded her.

She stared at his converse, of all the things she had noticed different she still had somehow failed to notice the return of the converse, "I know," Donna nodded. "We have a lot to talk about and I can't guarantee it's all going to be pretty," she confessed.

The Doctor took a step toward her closing the gap between them, he reached up taking her hand, "Donna I can't promise it will be easy but I promise I won't run, not this time. There is too much riding on it, I couldn't, not like," he paused holding his words back. "I could never walk out on my child, after the only family I have left," he explained.

Feeling his cool fingers against hers Donna swallowed hard finding it tough to listen to what he was saying rather than concentrating on the feel of his hand and hers. She took a deep breath, "let's talk then," she agreed.

Dropping her hand the Doctor shoved both his hands into his pockets, "library or kitchen," he questioned.

"Library, you need to stay as far away from the kitchen as possible if you want to keep me from losing the little food I have," she joked.

Nodding he led the way. He stood waiting for Donna to choose where she wanted to sit, opting for the big armchair she curled up inside its protective arms, "I'm not going to be an open book for you," she began, "if you want to know things you're going to have to tell me things," Donna demanded.

The Doctor sat on the couch across from her deciding what to say in response, "fair enough," he said. "Do you want to ask or answer first?"

She couldn't believe her ears, "seriously," she questioned. "No, you're having me on, this is too easy, what's up your sleeve," Donna pushed.

"I want information, you want information. Win-win," he confessed.

"But I've seen you force information out of people before," she protested.

His mouth dropped open, "when the world depended on it. I don't like doing that Donna, and I would never, not on you. Surely you know that," he protested appalled by her accusation.

"I don't know what I know anymore. I used to know that no matter what," she trailed off letting her worries fade away from consciousness.

Leaning forward he met her eyes, "what did you used to know," he urged.

"It's not like I need protecting," Donna noted, "but I used to always be sure that you would be there and I keep finding times that you aren't," she responded.

His face sunk, "Donna I'll always be there," the Doctor began.

"You say that but it isn't true. You can't be sure. Things happen Doctor. You were separated from Martha on Messaline and you weren't you in Broadchurch. I have no clue what the real you was doing but then like on the Oodsphere, things happen that are beyond your control," she reminded him.

She could see how this thought sobered him even more than the idea that Donna didn't trust him, "I would do whatever it took to protect our child," he assured her. Donna bit her lip, she didn't want to say it, to bring it up but if he continued to push she would have no other choice, "you know that right," he asked. "Donna, I wouldn't let anything happen. Anything at all," he promised.

"You were right there with Jenny," she whimpered, "nothing we could have done made any difference," she shook. "I'm sorry, I didn't, but I had to," she stammered. "It isn't always up to you," she frowned.

He refused to look at her, "you're right, Jenny was beyond my control. I wish she would regenerate, Donna if she could have we would all be traveling together," he paused, "but, this child will have that ability. Our child will be protected. I know you would rather die than do anything to hurt our child and I'm the same. They'll have to go through the both of us before they even get close to thinking about hurting our child," he promised.

Our child. He was beginning to use that term more frequently. Donna reached her hand out, "I need to know what you felt, what you knew, what you saw. It's killing me not knowing," she blurted.

The Doctor met her eyes, "when I was Alec," he confirmed. She nodded not wanting to say anything out of fear he would change his mind. "I told you already, like a dream," he repeated.

"But you haven't," Donna protested, "its even worse than when you constantly ramble but don't say anything now there are huge gaps that you pretend aren't even there and they are suffocating me," she raised her voice.

Sitting back in the chair he crossed his arms, "what do you want me to say? That I knew everything and cringed every time I forced myself upon you? That I wish I could take it all back? That nothing I ever do will erase that from my memory," he demanded.

Donna bit her lip, closing her eyes. She couldn't cry, not now, not in front of the Doctor. Donna opened her mouth but nothing came out. Instead she nodded, "I just wanted to know what you were going through," she quivered.

His eyes softened, "you said we talked," the Doctor remembered changing the subject, "what did I say," he questioned.

"I called Jack, you were having these dreams and I was worried," Donna began to explain. "He came over and I heard him make a phone call in the other room. He had called you and I stole the phone from him to hear," she paused, "to um, yell at you," she corrected. "I was so mad at you for leaving me alone," Donna sighed, "you promised everything would work out, that I had to be strong because time lines were still in flux," she recalled.

Reaching out the Doctor took her hand, "do you really want this baby? With your whole heart," he asked staring directly into her eyes.

Licking her lips Donna nodded, "from the moment I saw its tiny heart beat," she confessed. "I know it would have been easier for the both of us not to and I don't want to corner you but there wasn't a choice as soon as I saw that poor defenseless child inside me," she explained. "Doctor, I never expected you to stick around. You don't have to. Really. I can do this on my own. We still have a house and others who know me and Alec."

"Do you not want me around," he worried aloud.

Frowning Donna refused to meet his eyes, "I want what you want," she softly said.

He reached as if to take her hand but stopped just short, "I want this, I want another chance to get it right. That's what you've given me. Don't you see? I'll keep telling you over and over if that's what it takes for you to believe me," the Doctor promised.

But the words he was saying were too good to be true. She took a deep breath, if Donna didn't ask now she might never get another chance. "Why did you leave me like that? Why was I your fiancé and not your sister? I just, I don't understand why the TARDIS would do such a thing.

The TARDIS wanted me in a believable situation. Maybe she chose you to be my love because everyone already thinks we are," he paused as if trying to decide whether to something heavy, "I don't know Donna. One day maybe I'll be able to explain it to you," he suggested.

"You and Martha both," she quipped.

Swallowing hard the Doctor took a deep breath, "what do you mean," he questioned obviously confused.

"The first day you were human, I called Martha," Donna confessed. "I was scared and I didn't know what else to do. I had just given you CPR. I brought you back to life and I thought I was going to lose you," her voice broke. "When I called her she thought I was playing a joke until I explained what was going on. But then she just told me that I would "understand one day," Donna explained.

Donna watched his confusion increase unsure what any of that meant, he didn't know any more than she did. Not yet anyways. One day he would understand and hopefully he'd be willing to explain it. "Doctor," she paused biting her lip unsure if she wanted to know the answer, "how many have traveled with you," she asked.

"I've had many travel with me, some longer than others, why does it matter," the Doctor pondered aloud.

"Do you know how many," she pushed not ready to let this go so easily.

The Doctor nodded, "each and every person with whom I chose to travel with me is special in his or her own right," he explained.

"But how many," she begged.

"Why do you need a number," the Doctor fretted shoving his hand through his hair.

She tried to keep the tears inside. They were desperately close to escape, "because in all of your years this has never happened before. I need to understand why me? Have you ever been," she paused, "am I the only," Donna failed to find the words. "You've been married, you had a family and a wife and children and grandchildren," she blurted, "but none since then. Why now," she finally said.

"I did have a family," the Doctor agreed. "I've told you before. The pain of losing them. I couldn't. Not until Jenny," he stated is short quick sentences.

"But Jenny changed that? Or are you just saying that so I don't feel bad for forcing you into having a child with someone you don't love," Donna croaked, the desperation in her voice betraying her.

Taking another deep breath the Doctor leaned back crossing his arms, "I didn't know that I missed being a dad until I let Jenny in," he confessed.

Chewing on her cheek Donna wanted to know, she had to know and right now he was being open, being honest, she had to ask. "What happened to your family? I just, I, you said you can't go back, you can't undo it and the nightmares Alec had they were horrible. Maybe if you talked about it," Donna suggested.

"My family is dead," he said monotone refusing to look up from the ground. He shrugged his shoulders, "Susan probably didn't regenerate after her husband died and her children weren't time lord enough to survive more than an extended life," the Doctor revealed. "The rest I know are gone. They died during the time war. I'm sure they were gone way before that fateful day," he said.

"And Rose," she questioned. Donna felt bad for taking advantage of his honesty but she may never have a chance like this again.

He smiled meeting her eyes, "she is alive like I promised. On your Earth she is marked as dead, as one of the lost in the battle of Canary Wharf. But she is alive with her mum and dad in an alternate universe. Mickey too. She has a life there," the Doctor said almost trying to convince himself.

"You can never get her back," Donna inquired.

The Doctor shook his head, "I tried everything," he sighed, "burnt up a sun just to say goodbye. I didn't want her to wait, thinking I was coming when I couldn't," he revealed.

Nodding she worried her lip, "and if you two hadn't been stuck in separate universes," she pushed.

"Rose was fantastic," he beamed, "but so young. She deserved things," he paused meeting Donna's eyes.

"What? She deserved things you could never give her? Things that you only are going to pretend to give me until I die? Must be blink of an eye for you," she shot anger coursing through her.

Holding his hands up in a offering his smile faded, "that isn't what I meant. She was young, she had so much ahead of her that she didn't understand. She was only 19, she hadn't seen the world or had any experiences of her own. Rose didn't know what she wanted, she only wanted me," he rambled trying to make it better.

"When you say it like that we sound an awful lot alike," Donna scoffed, "well other than the age," she quickly added.

He licked his lips, uncrossing his arms, "can I ask you an honest question," the Doctor inquired.

"What's fair is fair," Donna nodded agreeing to his turn.

"Did you ever think of not turning me back," he hinted.

Donna's mouth dropped open, "never," she blurted.

"Not even once," the Doctor questioned.

"Never," she affirmed.

His smile made her melt, although she'd never admit it, "you told Alec you love me," he trailed off.

"I would have told him anything to see how important you are. The world can live without Alec Hardy, it can't live without the Doctor," she explained.

He scrunched his face as if deciding to say something. Donna watched as he shook his head like he decided against it, "you told Alec you loved him," he grinned.

"Of course I did dumbo. He was a dying man. I also kissed the bloody wanker," Donna spat rolling her eyes.

"Or you're lost without me," he joked.

Donna leaned over smacking him hard in the arm, "I think you're just pissed I fed you pears," she growled.

The Doctor's face filled with horror, "Donna," he said seriously, "did you feed me pears," the Doctor urged mentally tracking his brain to remember if he had unconsciously eaten his most hated element.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Donna giggled in satisfaction of her lapse in judgment that had turned out to be quite satisfactory. "I'll just be off to make something to eat," she chirped leaving him alone in the library trying to retrace everything he had eaten in the last three months.


	4. The Change is Scary

Even though Donna had many more questions, she would have to settle for now. The thoughts of who Koschei, Master and all the faces in Alec's journal were could wait for another day. She hadn't been in the kitchen long before she heard the Doctor's footsteps pounding down the hall, "took you long enough," she grinned.

"You fed me pears," he accused.

Donna shook her head, "no, you ate pears. I may have bought and cooked them but I didn't force feed you them," she reasoned.

"Donna," he pouted ready to begin an oncoming tantrum.

"Oi, don't even. The least of your worries is you ate pears. You didn't even notice until I brought it up so you can't hate them that badly," Donna argued.

The Doctor opened his mouth and closed it not knowing what to say. While he mulled it over she opened the fridge grabbing the almond butter and chocolate syrup. The two unusual likes for her caught the Doctor's weary eye "are you feeling alright," he worried.

Donna nodded, "just fine. Fixing myself a snack, do you want one," she asked gathering the bread and a banana.

"What are you doing," the Doctor inquired.

She licked a piece bit of almond butter off her finger, "a chocolate almond banana sandwich. It sounds simply divine right now," Donna purred.

The Doctor came up beside her, "sit," he ordered taking the knife from her and buttering another piece of bread with the almond butter.

"I'm perfectly capable of making my own sandwich," she protested.

He smiled scotching her out of his way, "but you cannot make a banana almond butter sandwich like I can," he quipped sticking his tongue between his teeth.

"You're enjoying this," Donna gasped rolling her eyes.

Beaming he went to the cupboard grabbing cinnamon and nutella, "the secret isn't chocolate sauce," he told her, "it's the nutella," he smiled while beginning to spread it on the other pieces of bread.

Donna's mouth salivated as she watched him slice the bananas over their bread, sprinkling them with cinnamon before closing the two sides. Instead of plating them, he turned away and placed the two sandwiches on the panini press, "Oi," Donna yelped, "enough with the showing off."

"You will see," he winked, "this will be the best sandwich you've ever had," the Doctor promised.

Watching him pour milk for them both she couldn't help but think of how similar his attitude was to that of Alec's. Maybe his time as a human had affected him more than either of them realized. She looked at his lips poised in an O shape, he was whistling. How had she missed this? Dear lord he must still be having moments where he flashed back to his human self. It was the only thing that made sense as to why he was so happy to cook for the both of them, "Doctor, no," Donna interrupted.

Shocked he met her eyes, "what's wrong," he inquired.

"Um, I don't, um, this isn't," she stammered trying to say what she was thinking, "don't you think this is a little human," Donna suggested.

Confused he paused standing there unsure what she meant, "human," the Doctor wondered aloud.

"Human, like um, Alec-ish," she said failing to find the right words.

"We're the same person," he reminded her before turning to pull the bubbly goodness onto plates and cutting them in quarters.

The Doctor place a plate and glass before her with the other before himself, "you're not though," Donna rebuked.

Unsure what to say he met her eyes, "you've lived with us both," he said deciding whether or not to continue. "What is so different," the Doctor asked.

"You are the Doctor and he was Alec," she mumbled.

He set down the piece of sandwich he was working on, "what is in a name Donna?"

"It's not just your name. You are just different," she sighed watching him. "You're different now. You're more like him, less like you," she pouted still lacking the right words to get the point across. "I think the memories, the domestic nature of it all got to you," Donna suggested.

Reaching out he took her hand, "why because I want to raise a child with you? Our child?" She sat there in silence, not knowing what to say. "I'm the same man Donna, I'm always the same man," he promised, "if you look into my eyes," he pleaded needing her to believe him.

That was the one thing she couldn't do, that she didn't dare do, look into his eyes. Donna knew when she met his chestnut eyes that she wouldn't see the Doctor, she would see Alec. But wasn't Alec only ever the Doctor? How many times had she reminded herself of that? From his character to his dorky jokes and smile, despite the differences he was still the Doctor. "It's hard to wrap my head around still," she finally confessed.

"Why? Is it because we," he trailed off, "we've before," he alluded to those dark moments of need when their two bodies had become one seeking comfort after the loss of Jenny, after Midnight and the Library.

Donna nodded, "there was never anything behind that. You needed someone and I didn't mind," she huffed.

"I needed you," the Doctor responded tightening his grip on her hand, "I never," he paused, "not with Martha," he continued. "I needed you, my brilliant Donna Noble."

"Stop," she demanded trying not to let his words sink in.

"I'm sorry I forced you," he began.

Pulling her hand from his grip she crossed her arms, "you didn't force me," she sighed.

"Pressured you. I'm sorry I kept pressuring you to do things you didn't want" he offered, "or that Alec did," the Doctor tried hoping that she would take his apology.

Donna stood up, "I can't do this right now, it's too much," she sighed taking the sandwich and milk with her as she began to leave.

"Please, I'm sorry. I won't talk about it anymore," the Doctor pled.

She turned to face him setting the plate and cup down, "will you stop bloody apologizing," she shouted. "You have no reason to be sorry. Damn you and all these bloody sorries. I'm the one who needs to apologize. I failed you and now you have to deal with what I couldn't take care of," she huffed. Donna gathered her breath and clenched her fists, "I don't know what's worse that I couldn't do it in the first place or that I'm happy it happened," she panted, "why couldn't you just let me stay there instead of acting like this is what you want too? Why do you have to try to be the upstanding man who is proper? You're a flipping alien!"

Watching his face Donna lacked the ability to read him, and that ability became harder as her vision blurred with tears. She could however see his figure moving towards her. Feeing him encompass her with his arms Donna tried to push him away, "I don't need to forgive you. You are always forgiven," he told her. "You were the one who was put in a position that you should never have been. Oh, Donna, I can never do anything to begin to make up what you have done for me, including having this baby," he promised rocking her gently and refusing to loosen his grip. "I am so happy we are having a baby. If I had to pick anyone, I'm glad it is you," he declared.

"How can you be over the fact that I betrayed you so easily? Just like when I confessed to wanting to rid myself of it," she sobbed.

The Doctor let up only enough so he could meet her eyes, "you're my best mate, why wouldn't I want to have a child with you? With your ginger hair and beautiful blue eyes how could I not be? There will finally be ginger in my time line," he laughed.

Rolling her eyes, Donna sniffed pulling her arm up and hitting him lightly, "sod off," she scoffed.

He allowed his hands to migrate north, stilling on her shoulders, "I wouldn't lie to you, especially about this," the Doctor promised.

Sniffing Donna shivered, "so, what are we going to do about this unconventional pregnancy," she said changing the subject. "Are there books to read that can give you some sort of idea," she questioned.

"I'm sure the TARDIS has something in the library or one of her knowledge banks," he supplied. "Well," the Doctor paused, "it's not so much as a matter of if but where is the right place to look," he offered. Gazing into her eyes he made sure she was meeting his stare, "I will scour every place in the universe if it means ensuring you have a safe pregnancy," the Doctor promised.

Donna tried to fight the smile creeping up her cheeks, "it's all or nothing with you isn't it," she flipped.

"Hey," the Doctor whined, "this all or nothing attitude has saved you how many times," he reminded her.

She patted his head, "wasn't trying to hurt your ego," she gibed sticking her tongue at him. Donna's stomach interrupted their banter by growling so loudly it couldn't be ignored.

"Sit and eat," the Doctor ordered, "before your sandwich gets cold."

Taking her plate and cup of milk Donna made her way across from where the Doctor's own meal was waiting for him. Biting into the warm, gooey peanut butter chocolate mixture Donna couldn't prevent the moan of ecstasy from escaping. She felt her cheeks warm and refused to meet the Doctor's eyes, "this is amazing," Donna resounded.

"Why are you always so surprised that I can cook," the Doctor questioned.

"Probably because you hadn't for so long. I just assumed that you didn't know how," she explained remembering how fascinated and worried she was when finding Alec floating around the kitchen on her first day of work.

The Doctor took a bite, "I would hope I picked up a few things in 903 years," he said mouth full.

"Oi," Donna protested, "for one that has got to stop, that and the licking things," she warned.

His face grew serious, "why," the Doctor worried, "is it bad?"

Licking her lips Donna was unsure how to approach the topic exactly. But, since she had already started there was no backing out, "I refuse to have a child with bad manners. So you need to nip those both in the bud mister," she warned. "Oh, and no more eating from the marmalades with your fingers. I don't know where they've been and I won't have our child getting sick from germs on God forsaken planets," she pushed. The Doctor just sat there smiling, "what? Nothing to say," Donna puzzled.

"You are going to be the best Mum ever," he proclaimed, "even if time lords don't get sick," he reminded her taking another huge bite and leaving chocolate dripping from his lips.

She had half a mind to wipe it off. When had she become so mother like? Donna had never intended it. Was it from learning she was pregnant or trying to manage Alec these last few months. Or maybe, it had always been present in her relationship with the Doctor. That was just what he needed in the whole every man tries to marry his mother sense. Who was she kidding? The Doctor and she were nothing like that. They were a partnership that ebbed and flowed as one needed the other more, like best friends should be.

"Earth to Donna," the Doctor called waving his hand in front of her face.

"Hmm," she asked realizing that she had completely zoned out.

The Doctor frowned, "is everything okay? You disappeared there for a moment."

"Right as rain," she promised taking another bite to prevent from having to say more.

"Be careful what you say, not all rain is right. Martha and I were once sucked up by the rain," he rambled.

Watching his lips move Donna remembered how much she had missed this, the simple moments where they weren't the Doctor and Donna but two friends reminiscing about stories. She even missed his bloody rambling. Whether or not she listened to it all, well, that was another story. "I think I should have those tests Martha suggested. I think that should take priority. Then, once the results are back lets go somewhere fantastic, to the furthest reaches of the universe," Donna suggested.

Surprised by her change in subject the Doctor's mouth dropped open, "you still want to travel," he clarified.

"Yeah you big dumbo. Why wouldn't I," Donna answered.

The Doctor paused, "well, I, um, I just thought that you'd want to take it slow," he began. "We could still travel," he quickly added, "but don't you want to tell your family about the pregnancy and, er, take it slow," he stuttered trying not to anger her.

"You thought I'd want to take it slow or you want me to take it slow," Donna growled. "Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Maybe we'll focus on less dangerous places," she suggested. Realizing what she had said Donna burst into laughter, "less dangerous, you, oh my," she gasped for air.

Watching her laughing fit he failed to see the humor in her words, "you said yourself it is a lot of running ad situations tend to present themselves" he carefully treaded.

"What you mean is wherever you go trouble follows," she spat. "If you think I'm going to give up on the best thing in my life," Donna stopped realizing what she had admitted. The silence hung in the air between them, neither wanting to speak after what she just said. "I mean," Donna finally cleared her throat, "traveling is my favorite thing. I wouldn't give it up for the world," she explained.

He nervously tugged on his ear, "you saw the time lines," the Doctor reminded her. "If you want a healthy, happy life we have to hit the right time lines," he tried.

It was the first time he had alluded to what they saw that day in their house. Correction, Alec and Donna's house. "You can't put me in a plastic bubble," she proclaimed, "it doesn't work like that," Donna pushed.

"Actually," the Doctor began.

"No," she interrupted before he could get his sentence out. "I know what I said about keeping us safe and I believe in you. I trust you completely. It's the world I don't trust. But if I ran around scared I'd never leave the house. There is so much wonder in all that you do too, I want our child to see that, I want to continue to see that," Donna said reaching out and placing her hand over his. "How could you expect me to give all this up just because I'm pregnant and worried? Let me tell you if you think this is the worst of it you have another six months that are going to get really scary let alone once the baby is here," she pointed out.

Hesitating the Doctor stared at their hands, "it isn't that I don't want that," he vowed, "it' just living in a house with regular people it was nice, wasn't it," the Doctor proposed.

Donna's eyes widened, "now I know something's wrong. We never properly ran any scans over you once you got back to the TARDIS. Come on," she worried tugging him from his seat and to the medical room in one swift motion.

"I'm fine," he assured her.

"No, the Doctor I know would never want to do domestic," she declared turning to meet his eyes. "Remember when we were trapped in that apartment on whatever planet it was? Even with the neighbors and view of Gallifrey you didn't want to stay. Here is nothing compared to there," she recalled beginning to drag him again.

For someone that resembled a matchstick, albeit a god looking one, he sure was heavy, "Donna I'm perfectly fine," he maintained.

"I'm not having any of it," Donna said refusing to listen to him. This is why he was saying everything. It all made sense, "the transformation mustn't be complete. I've done something wrong, bollixed it up," she declared kicking herself mentally for being too involved with her own problems to realize something was wrong with the Doctor the past few weeks. She should have known from the first moment, when he took her for chips on the rooftop. The Doctor would never have done something as sentimental as that. It's totally an Alec move, "up you go," Donna said shoving him toward the exam table.

She pulled the screen down like she had seen him do so many times and began pressing random buttons hoping to get it to work. "There is nothing unusual with me," he pled.

With a little help from the TARDIS Donna was able to get the device turned on and ran it over the Doctor. The curser began to spin while calculating the results, "you'll see," she promised him. The TARDIS would know what to do to help her get her Doctor back, even if it meant that he could still be very angry with her about everything that happened. Hopefully, he'd be kind enough to forgive the pregnancy and lack of noticing his unusual behavior with the fact that she helped fix him.

The Doctor's scan results ran across the screen. Normal, everything rang up as normal, "I told you," he spoke.

"How the hell," Donna muttered confused by what was before her. "You clearly aren't in your right mind. Is there another test I can run? One that configures your mental state," she inquired.

His face jerked back, "my what," the Doctor squeaked looking at her. "Hold on, turn that here," he said moving the screen to get a better look. His mouth dropped open, "since when do you read Gallifreian," the Doctor questioned.

"What," Donna bellowed glancing at the screen. How had she failed to notice that. The words, they weren't words but circles. Donna shook her head, "the TARDIS, she translated it for me," Donna answered.

"We're looking at the same screen," the Doctor cautioned. "If she had translated it I would see English too," he explained. "I think the pregnancy, having a time lord rain inside you is changing you," the Doctor suggested.

Donna couldn't meet his eyes. Changing her. What the hell did that mean? And was it a good thing? "I don't, um, I'm going to be sick," she gulped trying to get to the bin in time. She collapsed to the ground, her knees meeting the floor hard as her face became one with the bin. Empting the few bites of sandwich she had been able to capture early Donna felt even more ill.

She felt a hand on her back as another pulled her hair back trying to prevent it from becoming dirty, "it's alright," the Doctor coached. His voice was soft and tender like Alec's even though absent of his prominent accent.

Retching again, Donna watched the last few pieces of banana cascade into the liner, "I'll never get used to this. How am I supposed to make sure he's healthy if I can't even keep a meal down," she wept.

Crouching beside her the Doctor offered her a handkerchief to wipe her mouth on, "I will all work out," he reassured her. "Come on," he said helping her up, "let's lie down. I'll get a cool flannel for your face and it'll all be better, you'll see," the Doctor promised escorting her to bed.


	5. Questions Unanswered

She was standing alone on a red planet, fire burning all around her, "Doctor, Doctor please. Don't leave me. I'm sorry," she screamed tears streaming down her face. Donna could feel the heat looming closer as it began to close in. Instead of the TARDIS door opening it began to dematerialize, "no, please," she begged.

"Donna, Donna, you're safe, you're on the TARDIS, everything is okay," the Doctor promised as she opened her eyes clinging to him.

Burying her face in his chest Donna gasped for breath, "don't leave me," she whimpered in the darkness.

"Shhh," he comforted, "I won't," the Doctor promised as she snuggled into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight, "you're safe," he assured her as she fell back asleep.

Waking Donna felt an arm across her back, "what time is it," she mumbled snaking her arm across his waist.

"7:53 GMT," the Doctor said.

Donna froze hearing his voice. She was aboard the TARDIS, with the Doctor, not in Broadchurch with Alec. How could she have forgot that? Carefully Donna pulled her arm back trying to pretend that it had taken on a mind of its own when it ventured out, "was I sleep walking," she asked confused.

"You had a nightmare," he explained watching her, "I could hear you screaming and."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you," Donna interrupted sitting up, "thanks," she added quickly moving as far away from him as possible without falling off the bed.

She reached for the side lamp, turning it on to force them from the darkness, "how long have you been having the nightmares," he asked.

Sitting there she shrugged, "I'm not. Not sure why I did," she lied.

The Doctor watched her intently, "Donna," he countered knowing better.

"You can go now. You didn't have to stay you know," she said standing up and leaving him alone on her bed walking to the closet. "I should shower. Where are we going today," Donna rambled trying to change the subject.

He continued to sit there despite her redirection, "nowhere," he said plainly.

Donna froze, "certainly there is somewhere that needs your help," she suggested trying to remind him of his duty.

"You need to be looked over by Martha and I have research to do," the Doctor explained.

She took a deep breath, "Doctor," she began to protest.

"No, no running," he confirmed. "You are going to have the rest of the tests done, I've already set it up. You can spend a day with Martha, have a girls day. You deserve it," he pushed.

A day without the Doctor could prevent her from having to talk to him, but it also prevented him from having to talk as well, "what is this about," she inquired.

"You have been through a lot," he began.

She stared him down, "you aren't planning on leaving or going anywhere," Donna asked.

Laughing until he noticed she wasn't joking the Doctor sobered, "you still don't trust me," he realized aloud.

"That isn't it," she lied, "I just, you could leave but not really leave. You could be gone for a month and I would only know you were missing for an instant," Donna explained.

"What is going to take for you to believe that I'm going to be here in the library," he pushed, "what do I have to do? Unplug the brantix-wankel amulator and let you hold onto it?"

Donna bit her lip actually considering his suggestion. The fact was she would feel better knowing he couldn't go anywhere. But he couldn't be that willing to give up the one thing that makes the TARDIS work, "like you don't have another around here," she scoffed.

The Doctor threw his hands up tugging on his hair in aggravation, "I can't win with you can I," he sighed. "Just tell me what you want me to say or do and I'll do it," he fumed.

Unfortunately for the both of them Donna wasn't sure what that was. And the anger building within him was only making her more worried, "see you think it's okay to say things like that. To say the things Alec said like it's some rehearsed line that," Donna trailed off. All she wanted was for him to say those things and mean it.

"How many times do I have to tell you we're the same person? What will prove it? I'm here, I said I want this and you refuse to believe me, you refuse to allow me to be here for you and accuse me of some ulterior motive or going through the motions," the Doctor complained. The tears didn't even present her with a warning before they fled unrestricted and Donna ran into the bathroom trying to hide, "Donna. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," the Doctor apologized.

She sunk against the door, "go away," Donna cried.

"I'm not leaving," the Doctor said. She could hear his sonic against the door as he tried to push it open, "Donna let me in," he begged.

"No," she choked out through sobs.

He pushed against the door again, "please," he pled.

Feeling the door continue to bump against her Donna stood up causing the Doctor to rush in, "go to the library and do whatever you were going to do. I'm fine," she proclaimed wiping the tears from her face.

"You don't look fine," the Doctor protested closing the gap between them.

He reached up, wiping one of her tears that had escaped past her fingers, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say to you anymore," he offered.

"I just want the truth," Donna shook.

Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her close, "Donna Noble the truth is that no matter what I'm going to be here for you and the baby. The truth is that you are my best friend. The truth is that you are beautiful even when you cry," the Doctor told her.

Donna snickered pulling away from him, "we aren't playing two truths and a lie," she laughed.

"Then I must have missed the point of the game because those are all truths," he affirmed. Reaching up Donna lightly smacked his face, "what was that for," he squeaked.

Laughing she leaned against the counter watching him rub his cheek, "if I didn't know better I would say you were trying to flirt," she sighed rolling her eyes. "When is Martha expecting me," Donna asked.

"TARDIS," he pointed up, "any time you're ready," the Doctor reminded her.

"Well, I'll never be ready if you continue to stand in my bathroom preventing me from showering," Donna quipped pulling a towel off the counter.

He leaned in pressing a kiss to her forehead, "I better let you be then," he said reaching out as if to touch her stomach but slipping his hand into his pocket instead. "I'll be in the library if you need me," he reminded her closing the door and leaving Donna alone.

Sinking against the counter she shook her head, "what am I doing," she whispered placing her hand over her stomach. "What should I do," she asked staring at her hand. She still hadn't told her Mum yet and didn't dare until things were figure out but how long would it take things to get figured out? She turned on the music player, trying to tune the world out and hopped in the shower.

Fresh and clean Donna wrapped herself up in a towel searching her closet for something to wear. Clothes. That was something she needed, or would need soon. Maybe it would help her get her mind off of everything. Flopping onto her bed Donna opened her computer to check her bank balance. It was lower than she liked but she did have her credit card that wasn't maxed out yet. It wasn't like she was going out having fun, no, she was buying clothes for her changing body. Grabbing her purse she flipped through her wallet checking her cash when she noticed she still had the credit cards the TARDIS had provided as she was living with Alec, "well, it's not cheating," she reasoned aloud. Quickly standing she ran over to the closet throwing on a jumper and pair of jeans. She was going to go shopping one way or another and Martha was going to help her spend the Doctor, or Alec's money.

Like he had promised the TARDIS hadn't moved, it was still parked outside UNIT. Donna was worried about leaving him so walking by the console she may have slipped the flux compacitor into her bag before going to meet Martha. She sat on the bench after sending Martha a text to let her know she was ready. Seeing her Donna jumped up giving her a hug, "I'm sorry about yesterday," she began.

"Don't be. Did you two work things out," she inquired.

Worrying her lip Donna shrugged, "as well as the two of us can for now," she offered. Ready to change the subject Donna grabbed Martha's hand, "lets go shopping. I think we both need new wardrobes," she hinted.

"I have to finish checking you over," Martha protested.

Donna huffed, "not on the TARDIS okay," she reasoned praying for Martha to agree.

"Fine, then inside UNIT," they agreed.

Not wanting to do this but not having a choice Donna followed Martha inside and into an examination room where she preceded to undress and get ready for Martha to take samples. "You can't let UNIT get their hands on it," Donna reminded.

"I know," she scoffed, "he'd have my neck. Don't worry. I'll keep it on the fly. No one will know," Martha promised.

She wasn't exactly thrilled about being poked and prodded, especially in this manner. But Donna knew that it wasn't for her health but for the health of the baby. When Martha was finished it wasn't soon enough and Donna hurried to get dressed so they could go shopping. Coming out of the exam room Donna smoothed out her shirt, "do you have a favorite store," Donna asked finding a waiting Martha.

"No but there is an Oasis around the corner," she noted.

Wrapping her arm around Martha's the two made their way to the store. Donna fished through the racks grabbing anything that looked like it would fit but more importantly that it would be ready for her soon expanding stomach. For that hour she was more than Donna, the one who fucked up, the one who ruined the Doctor's life, she was Donna, one of the girls, shopping with Martha, buying clothes, happy and free of the worries of what the future would hold.

"The Doctor would love you in that," Martha laughed seeing emerald green dress on the rack, "it'd bring out your eyes and hair," she mentioned holding it up in front of Donna.

Shaking her head Donna couldn't help but blush, "I'm not his type," she protested.

"Not his type," scoffed Martha, "you two are having a baby. I highly doubt that is the least of your worries," she said.

Donna flopped down in a nearby chair, "it's more complicated than that," she reminded Martha, "we didn't. Well, we did but," she paused unsure how to say it, unsure if she wanted to. "He wasn't him," Donna finally settled on.

"But he told me he's the father, how can he be the father if," she trailed off.

"You know what life is like with him. All that timey wimey nonsense he keeps blustering on about. We were running and we had to hide so he changed himself and things got," she took a deep breath, "complicated," Donna finished.

Sitting down in a chair Martha watched Donna carefully, "how complicated," she pushed knowing just the disasters that could happen when you travel with the doctor and the sorts of complications that could arise.

"He turned himself into a human, who thought I was his fiancé," Donna explained.

Gasping Martha placed her hand carefully on Donna's knee, "he didn't force you did he," she worried.

"Oh God no," she said putting her at ease, "I mean he was a persistent bugger but no he'd never. Alec wouldn't have, the Doctor wouldn't have, oh God he wouldn't be able to live with himself," she rambled thinking of how much worse she could have had it. "But the point is we did while he was human, and now he isn't human anymore," she said tritely.

Martha mulled over her words, "but the baby is a time lord," she said confused.

"Part time lord. When he changed back the baby changed. I'm sorry this is just the cliff notes version. I'm not, I don't know, I just can't talk about it right now. Not yet," she reasoned. The fact was Donna wasn't sure if she ever could since she could barely talk with the Doctor about it. Part of it felt private, like it was just between her and Alec and for the Doctor to have those memories robbed her of that. Then again, the very idea that their child had become time lord robbed Donna of any choice in that matter.

Shaking the thoughts from her head Donna grabbed the clothes she had chosen out, "I think I'm ready to go," she said. "I'm feeling rather famished," Donna let on.

"I know a great Italian place around the corner," Martha suggested quickly standing beside her and taking her own choices.

Almost unable to wait to order Donna knew immediately after taking her first bite Donna knew she had made a mistake but it tasted so damn good so she decided to continue on despite her better judgment, "mmm," she moaned gobbling up the pasta dish she ordered.

"I told you," she smiled taking a sip of her wine. Donna stared at the glass, one wine glass that's all it had taken to get her in this predicament. Martha noted her staring off into space, "are you really alright," she pushed.

Leaning back in her chair Donna nodded, "yeah, I always am," she assured her.

"You don't have to pretend to be like him. It's obvious that things affects us differently than they do him. I should know. I'm the strong one in my family. Traveling with him, it changed us all, changes us all. If it gets too much for you don't be afraid to leave," Martha encouraged.

Unable to believe her ears Donna sat there stunned, "it's not too much, never. I could never leave him Martha, never," she protested.

"You have more than just yourself to think about," she pushed.

Donna shuddered at the thought, "I could never take my child away from his father. I would do anything to have my dad back and the very thought," she trailed off.

"One day something will happen," Martha ominously warned. "I know it's hard to believe because it' magical, it's like a fairytale, it's wonderful but with the wonder comes pain," she continued.

"You don't get it. I don't want to leave him. He needs someone to stop him. I don't want to think about what would happen if he didn't have that," Donna trembled thinking of all the times her Doctor had been alone knowing what she knew now she could never dream of leaving him of her own volition.

Leaning forward Martha met her eyes, "you bloody love him," she accused.

"No," Donna shrieked, "he's so skinny, paper cuts and all that," she tried to remind her.

"Oh, and how many paper cuts did you get while you were with his human counterpart," Martha urged causing Donna's face to flush. "You do. I knew it. Oh Donna," she sighed, "does he know?"

She sat there refusing to speak for a moment, "he can't have. He's so oblivious. Hell, I didn't even know until he was Alec," she confessed. Donna knew it was stupid, "I know nothing will ever happen and I'm fine with that," she promised.

"That isn't fair to you," Martha pointed out.

Martha was right, it wasn't fair to be around someone who could never love you back the same but since when was Donna's life perfect? "He seems to actually want to be a dad. He wants a second chance how could I deny him that," she spat.

"Because you have to think about what you deserve too," Martha hinted.

Donna raised her hand as a waiter came by, "can we get the check," she asked politely.

"I'm sorry I'm not trying to upset you," explained Martha.

"I know that. You aren't. I'm tired and not feeling well," Donna partially lied. The fact was she could feel heartburn starting to burn in her chest and her back had just about enough for the day, "it's the pregnancy. It's just taking a lot out of me," she reasoned.

Watching her Martha finished off her glass, "I'll walk you back to the TARDIS," she suggested.

"I'll be fine. I'm just tired. Anyone would be tired with the last few months I've had," Donna promised.

Seeing Martha stiffen worried her, especially as she scooted her chair closer, "has he told you about the crucible?"

"No, why," Donna asked confused.

"You know I loved traveling with the Doctor, the things I learned," she trailed off, "but if I had never met him," Martha stopped herself. "My family will never be the same again. They saw things, suffered things that the whole world forgot. Look at Rose," she pushed.

Donna shook her head, "but Rose is alive, the Doctor said so," she protested.

"That isn't what our files say. I don't know what happened. She's listed in those who died at Canary Warf, her and her mum. And for a whole year she went missing and her mum thought she was dead. It wasn't until she returned that her boyfriend at the time was able to go back to his normal life," Martha explained.

She couldn't believe her ears. Sure Martha had hinted at something when they first met but this was obscured, wasn't it? "What's your point," Donna interrupted becoming angry.

"I just want you to realize that life with the Doctor comes at a price," Martha sighed. "I wish someone would have warned me, even if I wouldn't have listened to them. Donna if it ever gets to be too much, if you ever reach that point, promise you'll call me. Because I understand how mysterious and wonderful he can be but I know how dangerous and scary it can be," she explained.

Placing the credit card on the check Donna stood, "I've got to run to the loo," she said standing and leaving Martha alone at the table. Donna looked at her pale skin in the mirror, splashing water on it. This was completely barmy right? Why was Martha doing this? Why now? It was worth it right? The Doctor was worth it. She thought back to their time together, the adipose, Pompeii, Ood, Lance, the Sontaruans. The way the Doctor was willing to give himself up, how clutched her chest felt believing she lost him. Could she raise a baby with him safely? She couldn't deny her fear anymore. No matter what she did to block the thoughts during the day they continued to crop up at night, filling her dreams with terror. But could she walk away and leave the Doctor alone for the sake of her own child?


	6. The Dangers of Proximity

Returning late that night Donna changed into her pajamas and laid down in her bed. She could feel her body ache, the spaghetti she ate earlier fighting her and the worry over her nightmares loomed even closer. Afraid to sleep Donna decided to turn to the library and see if it could shed any insight on a time lord pregnancy. Anything to keep her mind off where it wanted to go. She was walking down the corridor in route when she heard snoring. Rolling her eyes she realized that it was coming from the Doctor's room. What surprised her the most was his door was open. Peering in she had to remind herself where she was. Asleep on his bed was the Doctor, mouth wide open, one leg on the floor and book teetering carelessly about to fall. His glasses were half hanging off his face as his rumpled hair reminded her of Alec. Donna thought back to all the times she had found Alec with his glasses navigating their way off his face and his thumb close to losing his place. He looked so much like Alec in this moment, well, a freshly shaven Alec.

Donna squeezed through the gap in his door, walking over to him. She carefully bent down taking his glasses and leaving them on the night stand for him to find in the morning. Looking around his room she realized that although cluttered it wasn't messy. There were books and gadgets on any free table top, including some of the bed. Donna grabbed a piece of rumpled paper littered with scribbles about two hearts and gestation time and folded it into the book. Slowly slipping it from his hand she noticed the title, Gallifreian pregnancy.

As his hand let go of the book the Doctor jerked awake, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," Donna sputtered.

"Is everything okay," the Doctor asked scrubbing his face.

She nodded, "yeah, I, um, you were asleep and I didn't want your glasses to break," she offered.

"It's late. Did you just get back," he asked, "why were you in the corridor? Were you looking for me," he quickly added to the list of questions.

"Um, I just have horrible heartburn, my back and um chest aches so I can't seem to get comfortable," she spat trying to censor herself.

The Doctor smiled reaching his hand out, "come here," he motioned.

"What? In your bedroom," she squeaked.

He nodded, "I know how to relieve the pressure," he smiled wiggling his fingers. The Doctor hurried to clean his bed off, pushing things around to make room for Donna before directing her to lay down.

Donna stood cautiously in the same place, "I should go," she said beginning to back out.

"Trust me," the Doctor urged moving to her side and guiding her to his bed. Laying down Donna decided she only had one choice, to listen to him. The pain in her back was getting to a point of intolerance. God forbid what it would be like in the next few months. The Doctor disappeared inside his bathroom for a moment coming back and handing her a green tube, "squeeze this onto your tongue and suck on it for three seconds before swallowing. It will help the heart burn," he explained.

She wearily gooped the slime from the tube into her mouth, "it tastes awful," she mumbled trying not to gag and throw it up.

"Three seconds," he scolded waiting for her to do as she was told. Begrudgingly Donna closed her mouth. One, two, three, she counted mentally then swallowed, "water," she muttered sticking her tongue out of her mouth praying for the horrid taste to cease.

He hurried into the bathroom bringing her a glass, sipping it she desperately tried to get the horrible taste from her mouth, "better," he asked.

"I guess," Donna shrugged.

The Doctor loomed closer to her, "lay on your side and curl into a ball as tight as you can," he ordered.

"What," she protested.

"Do it," the Doctor affirmed waiting for her to comply. Listening to him Donna curled into a ball as close as possible. She felt the Doctor's long fingers move across her back, gliding down her spine and to her lower back, "take a deep breath," he instructed waiting for her to draw in deeply before pushing up and out her back.

Feeling tingling spread across her back Donna began to worry, "don't paralyze me," she protested.

"I'm not. Sit up and you'll see," he offered.

As Donna did as she was told her back felt much better, "what did you do," she wondered aloud feeling ten years younger. She felt like she could do cartwheels. Well, if she wasn't pregnant and currently the owner of gigantic breasts that would knock her out should she try.

"Your nerve was pinched. All better now," he beamed crawling next to her on the bed.

"Thanks," Donna quickly said realizing they were laying on his bed, "I'll be going now," she mentioned starting to stand.

The Doctor reached out grabbing her hand, "I can help with the dreams too," he offered, "if you let me," the Doctor almost begged.

"Dreams," she asked wearily trying not to give in.

He cleared his throat, "I can make sure the nightmares don't come," he clarified.

Donna worried her lip, "I don't have nightmares," she assured him.

The Doctor flopped onto his side bringing his hand to her face, "please" he begged.

His brown eyes were intoxicating, they were her one connection left to Alec. So much so that Donna typically refused to meet them because every once in a while like right now she would see the helpless Alec inside begging for her to let him help, "I don't have nightmares," she lied.

"I want to help. I can't handle you waking up screaming every night," he explained.

Against her better judgment she nodded, "nothing fishy okay," she ensured, "no planet of the ood brain change," Donna worried.

"Never," the Doctor promised, "I just want to prevent you pain," he promised.

Taking a deep breath she nodded, "okay," Donna agreed.

The Doctor scurried to pull the blankets up so Donna could crawl under the covers. She laid on her side facing him as the Doctor too her hand like he often did while they were running. He scooted closer to her, "is this okay," he carefully asked.

"That's it? All you need," she asked needing to know what she was getting herself into.

Smiling the Doctor nodded, "yep," he popped. "You can go to sleep and no worries," he vowed.

Rolling her eyes Donna sighed, "like it happens that easy," she scoffed.

"I can help with that too," he offered, "if you scoot over here and put our head on this pillow the position will relax your body and prevent back pain," he hinted moving pillow to better fit her.

Doing as she said Donna shifted to the position he said and hated to admit that he was right, it did feel better. Well, with the exception of her hand still held in his in the most uncomfortable position, "um can I move this here," she asked pulling his arm with her hand resting on her stomach lightly.

Shifting beside her the Doctor nodded, "is that better he asked almost spooning her but careful to keep their proximal distance other than his hand which she had placed on her.

"Yeah," Donna nodded feeling her eyes fight her for sleep, "thank you for this," she mumbled as her body fought her for the much needed sleep she had been preventing it from.

Donna quickly decided that lying in the early morning hours still in bed with her favorite brown haired guy had to be one of her favorite daily moments. Feeling the hair tickle her cheek Donna couldn't help but smile as she felt the bed jerk under his disruptive movements. "Mummy, where's Daddy," her young son asked stirring beside her.

She pulled him closer to her tucking the covers around them, "he's working love,"

Hearing the door close her son jumped off the bed, "daddy," he cheered running down the hallway.

"Alec," Donna called sitting up. As her feet hit the cool tile Donna shivered pausing to caress her protruding stomach before following her son into the hallway.

Stepping around the corner she was met by the view of her husband bending down and swooping their son up in his arms, "how's my little guy," he chirped, "were you good for mummy," he beamed giving her a wink over their son's shoulder.

"Yes," he replied.

"About as good as his father," Donna shot coming up to the two. "How was it," she asked as he set their son back on his feet and hugged her.

He smiled, "about as expected. You know me. I develop a plan and make it come together," he offered.

"You mean you make it up as you go along," she protested reaching up and kissing him.

"That too," he agreed bending down and cradling her stomach with his hands, "did you let mummy have a restful night," he queried.

She looked down at her husband, running her hand through his wild hair, "no different than her dad," Donna echoed her previous comment.

Smirking he stood, "how about some breakfast," he hinted.

"Banana pancakes," Donna questioned rolling her eyes.

The Doctor stood pressing a kiss to his wife's lips, "yep," he grinned.

"Mummy can we have chocolate banana pancakes," Alec begged jumping up and down excitedly.

She bent down ruffling his wild hair, just like his fathers, "anything for my special guy," she promised.

Pouting the Doctor quirked an eyebrow, "I thought I was your favorite guy," he protested.

Donna shrugged her shoulders, "I guess you've dropped down a few pegs always leaving me aboard the TARDIS when you go off gallivanting," she smirked turning her back to him and reaching her hand out for Alec to take.

Coming up behind her the Doctor wrapped his arms around her from behind, "we both know you were too tired to save any planets today," he purred in her ear.

"Only because you tricked me and tired me out knowing fully well there was one in need of saving," she shot walking out of his grasp. "Do you want chocolate chips or chocolate syrup," she asked Alec while walking to the galley.

The Doctor stood there frowning, "you seemed pleased last night," he called after her.

"Both," their young son exclaimed.

Laughing she ruffled his hair, "he gets that from you," she hollered turning into the kitchen. Donna popped her head out briefly meeting the Doctor's eyes, "and I expect round two during nap time," she informed him throwing a wink in as he stood there gob smacked.

Donna opened her eyes feeling the Doctor's arms wrapped around her. Shit, she mumbled internally trying to figure a way out of this situation. She was pressed tightly against him with his arms wrapped around her, his nose tucked in by her neck as he took in slow, deep breaths. Not wanting to wake him Donna carefully repositioned his arm and tried to slip from his grasp, "you don't have to go," he almost whimpered.

"I have to pee," she supplied sneaking off into his loo in the darkness of the room. After using the toilet Donna splashed her face with water, "what are you doing," she chastised herself.

There was a knock on the door, "are you alright in there," he asked his hand tinkering with the handle.

Opening the door Donna met his worried face, "I'm fine," she promised.

"No morning sickness? Although, I'm not sure why they call it morning sickness. It doesn't just happen in the morning so that is rather a false name. Did you know you can have morning sickness the entirety of your pregnancy," the Doctor rambled.

She rolled her eyes trying to absorb what he was saying, "thanks for that, exactly what I want to hear," she snickered.

"I'm not going to lie to you about this. Your pregnancy needs to be taken seriously," the Doctor pouted. He reached his hand out waiting for her to take it, "come back to bed,' he suggested.

Donna swallowed hard, "I'm good. Really rested," she lied.

"You have dark circles and you've only slept seven hours," he pushed. Worrying her lip she wasn't sure what to do, "you seemed more peaceful right," he hinted. "Good dreams instead of bad," the Doctor tried.

"Your bed is comfortable," she reasoned trying to act like she didn't want to be there when she really did. She'd be stupid not to. Donna felt safe in his arms. Walking around the bed she crawled back under the covers as the Doctor scooted around her wrapping her up. "We don't need to spoon," she reasoned feeling bad for making him do this.

Hearing his chuckle in her ear the Doctor's breath blew her hair lightly, "if you want to keep having dreams like that you do," he told her.

Freezing Donna took in what he said, "like what," she panicked turning to face him.

"About our son," the Doctor said plain as day.

"You saw that," she screeched moving away from him. "You watched my bloody dream? The whole thing? And you thought that was okay," Donna yelled slapping him.

The Doctor put his hand up to block her next blow, "I would have to in order to make sure you only have good dreams," he conceded.

"That wasn't part of the deal. You lure me in here, and I find out you are messing with my dreams," Donna spat hitting him again. "What is wrong with you," she pushed jumping out of his bed and ready to leave.

He quickly stood blocking her from leaving, "Donna I didn't, I thought you understood. I wasn't trying to be sneaky. I, I'm sorry," he stuttered.

"What exactly are you doing while I'm sleeping? Are you fucking with my memories," she yelped.

Holding his hands up to prevent any further assaults the Doctor shook his head, "no, never. I just kept the bad dreams from happening and went to your happy thoughts instead. I would never change your memories," he promised.

"You were in my mind without my permission," she accused.

"No, I only stopped the bad dreams from happening. I didn't change anything just wouldn't let them come so the good ones did," he explained.

Crossing her arms Donna gave him her own oncoming storm look, "you saw them, my dreams," she whispered.

"They're just dreams," the Doctor reasoned.

"They are my dreams. My innermost thoughts. You had no right," she pushed.

The Doctor moved closer to her, "you read my journal," he shot.

"Only because you didn't talk to me," she yelled.

"Who is refusing to talk to who now," he noted. "Lying about bad dreams, refusing to talk," the Doctor began.

Donna interrupted him before he had a chance to advance, "what happened on the Crucible? Where is Rose? What happened on Gallifrey," she rapidly fired at him proving her point.

The Doctor sunk on the bed, "if you wanted to know all you had to do was ask," he offered.

She could tell she had offended him. That wasn't her goal. Well, maybe it was. Maybe that's all her point was now a days, to hurt him like she was hurting. Slouching onto the bed beside him Donna rested her head on his shoulder interlacing their fingers, "I'm sorry," she apologized turning to rest her chin on his shoulder and look up at him, "I need to know. I need to know what could happen, what happened," she softly answered.

Hugging her tightly the Doctor pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "I promised everything, no more secrets," he said letting go and scooting back onto the bed, "come on," he clucked holding hand out.

"In here," Donna worried.

"It is our bed," the Doctor laughed.

Confused by what he said and about to berate him more Donna realized exactly what he had meant, the blue comforter, the bed, the side tables, right down to the pillows, they were the Doctors. She and Alec had been using the Doctor's bed in their house as their bed. "This is just too much," she declared walking out of the bedroom and leaving him alone.


	7. Memories Not Easily Forgotten

"Donna," the Doctor yelped chasing after her, "what did I do this time," he worried finding her slumped in the hallway crying. The Doctor kneeled before her, "what's wrong," he questioned.

The tears refused to stop, "it's your bed. Your bloody bed. Why did she do this," Donna sobbed.

"Who," he asked confused.

"The bloody TARDIS! Why did she use your bed? Why did she make me your wife? Why didn't she protect me? Protect you? I just want to forget but I can't. And it isn't fair," she wept.

He moved beside her pulling Donna into his lap, "why do you want to forget," he queried.

"Because then it wouldn't hurt," she cried, "then I wouldn't have to see him when I look at you and miss him. I miss him desperately," Donna choked out, "why would he do this?"

The Doctor gently held her to him rocking her, "she had her reasons I'm sure," he offered.

"But I need to know why. Why did she make Alec love me? Why did she make me his fiancé? Why use your bed and," Donna sighed burying her face into his chest, "it isn't fair," she mumble.

Swallowing hard the Doctor cleared his throat, "she didn't make Alec love you," he corrected.

"What do you mean," she sniffed meeting his eyes.

He nervously tugged on the back of his neck, "the TARDIS can't make you feel things. Not even me," he confessed.

"But you had all those memories of us doing things, of loving me, of dating and wanting to be together," she protested.

Reaching out he wiped a tear from her cheek, "that was a back story, no feelings, just facts."

"It doesn't even matter anymore," she frowned, "he's dead. He doesn't exist anymore," Donna told herself.

The Doctor cupped her face, "everything that is him is in me," he reminded her.

"You would never do the things he did. You couldn't ever give me what he did, what he wanted to," she paused, "and I don't blame you. I don't hold it against you," she assured him.

"What is that? What could he offer that I can't the Doctor asked confused.

Donna rested her head on his chest, "a life together," she responded.

"What do you think this is," the Doctor pushed.

Snickering she shook her head, "not married with children and a," Donna stopped herself, "I don't know," she stopped herself. "It was a nice idea, a fairytale, a dream that won't ever be," she told herself.

"Donna," he began.

"No, it's not your fault. I don't hold you accountable. I just he loved me, he really did," she swallowed staring down at the gold band on her finger. "I had forgot what that was like, or I didn't know what it was like. It felt good, so good. I know it's not how you're wired. I had forgotten I wanted that all or lied to myself trying to make myself believe it was my mum pushing it on me but maybe she pushed it on me because it's what I did want. I've always loved kids," Donna thought aloud.

His arm stopped on her back, "you can leave," the Doctor suggested.

"That's not what I want. I don't want to leave you. I just hate for you to feel obligated just because I would ever leave you as much as I love him, loved him," she corrected herself biting her lip. "I should have never allowed myself to fall in love with you," Donna mused.

The Doctor's breath hitched realizing what she had said before Donna did. Her eyes widened in comprehension. He placed a finger over her lips preventing her from talking, "you can't help who you fall in love with," the Doctor comforted, "I should know," he commented. He tilter her chin up forcing her to meet his eyes, "I don't want to prevent you from having what you want. I never said I did. Donna did you ever stop to think that could be what I want too," he offered.

Sitting there she didn't know what to say. Donna wasn't sure if she understood what he was even saying in all actuality. "I didn't think it'd be that hard. I didn't think I would fall in love with you. I thought I could handle it. I thought I could stay detached," she mumbled.

"Alec deserved to be loved. He did love you. Very much so. It was right to love him back," he promised. Looking Down the Doctor took her hand in his, "you still haven't taken off the ring," he brought up.

Forcing Donna to look once again at the gold band marring her finger she shook her head dismissing it, "it doesn't mean anything. It's just, it's my biodamper," she reasoned, "I don't kow it feels right" she supplied. "Not that it means anything," Donna quickly assured him. In fact she couldn't bear the thought of taking it off her finger. She wished it was because it was the ring Alec used to symbolize their engagement but it was so much more than that, it was because the Doctor had given it to her. "He's gone, I have to move on," she sighed sinking into him.

"Surely you've realized it's much more complicated than that," the Doctor protested. "That is my child. Half time lord. Alec and I were more the same than you are willing to admit," he accused.

"I killed him," Donna objected. "He doesn't exist anymore," she explained letting silence develop between them. "I honestly don't regret it. I'd do it again Doctor I would for you any day," she promised.

Sitting there Donna could feel the Doctor becoming tense, "There is no need to grieve, I'm right here, right next to you," he offered.

"Grieve," she echoed mulling the word over, "I haven't grieved. How can I when I see his face every day staring back at me. He was everything I wanted an more," she marveled.

"Everything," the Doctor repeated.

Donna nodded, "yeah," she confirmed. "I mean he was a grumpy, broody ass who was too stubborn for his own good but he was smart and adorable and good to me." Looking up the hurt was apparent across his face, "I loved him but he'd never compare to you," she explained. I'd never compare you against him. You guys were different people," Donna quickly added.

"But we aren't," he begged her to see.

She pressed her lips together shrugging, "can't we just ignore it," Donna hopped.

"No," he firmly answered.

Resting her head against the TARDIS wall, she stared up at the ceiling, "since when did you become the one not to run from conversations," she laughed at the unbelievable situation she found herself in.

"I've seen what happens when I use my stubbornness for bad," he smiled.

Donna's eyes shot to his, "and that is," she worried.

"Pears," he revealed bursting into laughter. Donna couldn't contain herself and almost fell over into his lap. He looked down at her staring up into his eyes tears of laughter brimming instead of sadness, "there's that smile," the Doctor beamed tracing his lips with his thumb.

Gasping for breath Donna continued to lay there nuzzling her cheek into his hand, "you always know how to do that well. And how to get a slap," she giggled.

"Hey," he protested leaning in closer to Donna. She could feel his breath against her exposed skin, "I missed that smile. I don't want you to have to go through this. I don't want you in pain."

She reached up ad cupped hic cheek, "you're too good to me," Donna smiled.

"No, I'm not good enough," the Doctor revealed. "You asked about what happened on the Crucible. It was a year, a whole year," he murmered closing his eyes, "I could do nothing. Martha, her family, Jack, they all suffered because of me. Because of the Master.

Master she had heard that name before, "you talked about him in your nightmares," she gasped sitting up. "What did he do to you," she gulped clutching his hand and scooting closer.

"Rapid age progression. But it isn't me that got the brunt of it. All the people he tortured, everything Martha and her family went through, the number of times Jack was killed," he paused, "and the TARDIS," the Doctor whimpered gently caressing the ground.

She could see him beginning to shake and pulled him into her arms, "shh," she comforted.

"I know that when you sleep with me I keep your bad dreams away but you keep mine away too," he confessed.

Feeling her chest tighten Donna didn't know what to say. His cracked voice, the fear she could sense within him he seemed so Alec like. "You don't have to tell me everything now," she backtracked her previous outburst.

"I do, I need to. I thought I was going to die. Martha saved me. She saved the world and me. She saved us all. Lucy, the master's wife, she shot him. I begged him to regenerate but he refused. To have another time lord, even someone like him," the Doctor took a breath refusing to meet Donna's eyes. "He was my best friend. The one I can't save. When we were in the Academy he used to stand up for me," he explained. "I wasn't the Doctor then. I had a different name, my real name, the name of expectation upon which my family had pushed," he paused meeting her eyes, "I don't want that for our son," the Doctor noted.

Donna pressed a kiss to his forehead, "never," she promised.

He took a shaky breath in, "Rose is alive," he reaffirmed as if he knew Donna doubted that. "She is stuck in an alternate universe," he revealed. Donna's mouth dropped open. Just the thought of the Doctor traveling alone, of being ripped away from him against her will, she couldn't imagine, didn't want to. "She has her mum and Mickey," he supplemented, "she didn't want to go, she wanted to stay with me but the rift it was too much. She sacrificed herself, but Pete he saved her and got her back to her family," the Doctor sadly smiled.

"You left her there," Donna realized.

The Doctor shook his head, "no" he objected, "I tried everything. I burnt up a sun just to say goodbye. I couldn't get through," he trailed off. "She's better there anyways," he finally said, "she has her mum and Mickey. They were her family, and a dad, she has a dad there. Rose Tyler, can have anything she wants," he proclaimed.

"Except you," Donna whispered. He didn't respond and the silence was starting to get to her. She had to know, she had to ask, "what was she like," Donna questioned.

Standing up he held out his hand for her to take, "I want to show you something." Donna wasn't sure what his plan was but she wasn't about to say no either. As she stood he wrapped an arm around her walking her deep into the TARDIS. Coming to a long hall of doors Donna looked around confused. Looking to the Doctor she was about to ask when he smiled, "you asked me about my companions once," he swallowed letting go of her. There was a door with a S on it in front of him He placed a hand gently on the S tracing it, "this was my granddaughter's," he revealed turning back to here. This whole hallway, every companion, is here, their room," he explained.

"You kept them all," Donna gasped.

"I couldn't just throw them away. Each has a special place in my hearts," he confessed.

She couldn't believe how sentimental he could be sometimes. Donna didn't know what to say so she just walked over and hugged him, "you have a special place in ours too," she told him feeling his arms embrace her back. Realizing how comfortable she was Donna pulled back and the Doctor wordlessly took her hand leading her down the corridor.

Names passed by like Adric and Ace as they continued down toward the end. The Doctor stopped in front of a pink door with a rose carved into it, "this was Rose's," he announced although unneeded. He hesitantly placed his hand on the knob, twisting it open and allowing Donna inside. The Doctor shoved his hands in his pockets rocking on his heels, "it's been a while, since I've been in here," he coughed.

Donna took in the warm pink walls and beautiful flower bedspread. In the corner was a makeup table scattered with trinkets, jewelry and makeup. There was clothes cluttered on the floor in the open closet, a scarf wrapped over the corner of the metal end board and CD's scattered beside her bed with a computer. It was eerie, almost like a shrine, "you visited after she left," Donna asked.

"Only once or twice," he hastily answered as if scared of being judged. She was scared to touch anything, worried she would ruin something, "we were in a hurry that morning, or I was. We were visiting her mum and," he sighed, "I was eager to get it over with and back to the adventures. If I would have known," the Doctor trailed off.

She took in a deep breath, "did you love her," Donna asked.

"Love," the Doctor squeaked as if the word physically prevented him from breathing normally.

Worrying her lip she stared at the bed, "I imagine you did. Even if you weren't," she didn't want to say it.

"Yes," the Doctor clarified letting silence loom once again, "but I didn't tell her," he admitted. "Not until it was too late to do anything about it," the Doctor explained.

Turning to him Donna wrapped her arms around him, "I'm sorry," she comforted.

The Doctor pulled at the back of his neck, "a lot of my companions have been lost too soon, ripped away, died, you're right Donna," he paused. "I think we should tell your mum about the baby, about me. That way, if anything happens," he stopped, "I want to set things up in case I'm not there for you one day."

Feeling her knees try to give out Donna reached out allowing the Doctor to assist her, "no. Don't talk like that," she protested.

He met her eyes, "you did. You are right. I don't know everything, especially when it comes to you."

Donna was flabbergasted, "what does that mean," she yelped unsure where this was going but not happy in the least about the hints he was planting.

"Since the day I met you I knew you were special," the Doctor proclaimed.

She shook her head laughing at him, "that's a lie if I knew one. In fact you said the exact opposite," she corrected him.

He reached out cupping her cheek, "I know and I'm so sorry. I was hurting. I had just told Rose I loved here and then you were in the TARDIS which is impossible but even more impossible was your time lines. The way they interlock around you, they are all in flux like a huge mystery that still hasn't revealed itself. I didn't understand it and you were normal. It made no sense."

Donna hated when he made her feel different, feel weird, feel alien, "what are you trying to say," she pushed backing away from him.

"That I don't know everything, that I can't predict it and that I want you to not have to worry if something happens," he tried.

"No," Donna objected. "You said I'm different, that the time lines," she trailed off. "Why would they do that," she demanded.

He stepped closer, "I don't know. Yet," he explained.

"Has anyone else ever," she was unsure what to say, "have you ever met anyone like that before," Donna questioned needing to know.

The Doctor nodded, "sort of. Jack." He took another step, "but you're different. Jack is a consistent where as his time line are not. You're are in flux but they are leading to something, something that I can't see, not yet."

This was all getting to be a bit too much, "is that what a time lord looks like," she queried.

"Similar, but you aren't a time lord," he dismissed.

She brought her hand to her stomach, "the baby you dumbo. What if it's the baby," she brought up.

"Then our child is going to do marvelous things," the Doctor beamed.


	8. The Panic of Confessions

The next few days they had decided that they would tell Sylvia together. Not only that but that they would confess to being engaged. It wasn't a full lie but it was better than the truth. Donna finally felt like herself again, except for the morning sickness that reminded her that her body had been taken over by another being. What pleased her the most was how normal she and the Doctor had been. Well, for the exception of not traveling. The Doctor promised it was just because they needed time to get reacquainted but Donna thought it was more than that. Today she wasn't going to allow him an out. Donna dressed in a pair of jeans, blue shirt and converse before descending on the console room, "where are we off to today," she asked.

Sliding from beneath the console the Doctor met her eyes, "we could go to the eye. I've never properly seen it," he suggested.

Donna walked around the console flicking a switch, "or we could go on an adventure," she hinted.

"Something is wrong with the TARDIS," the Doctor protested watching Donna turn a knob before pressing another button, "what are you doing," he questioned hopping up from the grating.

She offered him a kind smile, "proving you are a liar," Donna beamed flipping the lever to make the TARDIS dematerialize.

"Donna," he yelped running to the console as she continued to fly the TARDIS, "you've only had a few lessons," he protested rushing to help her.

Smacking his hand from a button Donna gave him a shove, "yes and that means I know enough to set the TARDIS on random. Super temp remember," she grinned wriggling her fingers at him. "Now are you going to help me land or risk a crash," she supplied allowing the Doctor access to his console.

She could tell he was mad but with no other choice but to land or crash the Doctor made the right decision. As soon as the TARDIS had materialized Donna ran to the door throwing it open, "Donna," he yelled running after her, "you don't know what's out there," he worried grabbing his coat as he met her.

Before Donna was the most beautiful planet they had ever landed on. Flowers were as far as her eyes could see, "it's stunning," Donna admired as the Doctor bumped into her.

Grabbing her the Doctor glared at her, "never do that again," he growled. "Do you know how dangerous that was? You just ran off the TARDIS. Who knows what you could have wound up in," he yelled. "You are carrying a child," he reminded her.

Donna pulled away from him, "we're fine. We're safe. Look around you. Flowers, what danger can flowers be," she asked.

"Plenty," the Doctor warned protectively keeping an eye out.

Shaking him off her shoulders, Donna took his hand, "come on spaceman," she chirped running into the field. Donna didn't stop until she was out of breath, "what's this one called," she asked pointing to bright flower that looked like it was covered in lightening bugs.

"Pilgrim's lantern," the Doctor named it, "during the day their petals absorb the sunlight and at night they release the energy in ultraviolet rays," he explained. There was an explosion to the left of them. Quickly the Doctor pulled Donna down, covering her mouth, "shhh," he warned straddling her. He raised his head over the flowers peeking in the direction the noise had come from. Another explosion made her jump but the Doctor instead relaxed helping her up, "comet flowers," he smiled, "they explode to spread their seeds," he explained dusting her off and allowing her to see a puff of orange when yet another one exploded.

Reaching her hand up Donna waited for the Doctor to pull her up, "so where are we," she queried.

"Chelsea 426. Planet in the clouds. Actually, it's a city floating on Saturn's clouds," he corrected himself.

She looked around, "how is it perfectly tempered," Donna wondered aloud.

"Atmospheric conditioning. Humans had to account for the weather in order to inhabitant it," he noted walking along the path. The Doctor crouched before another flower bright blue, "mist flowers," he pointed to it. "When they flower they produce a blue mist, harmless when a few, dangerous when in the multitude. The Master once tried to use these to take over Earth. Way before your time," he recalled.

Donna walked up beside him wrapping her arm around his, "they are awful pretty to be that treacherous," she said.

The Doctor had missed what she said instead moving along to a beautiful pink flower, "what are you doing here," he mumbled confused.

"What is it," Donna asked taking in the glorious rosy color.

"Pink Cichorium, I thought it was extinct," he revealed.

Kneeling beside him she reached out toward the flower stopping before she touched it and instead settled her hand on the Doctor's knee, "maybe you were wrong," she offered. "It's okay if you aren't always right," she reminded him.

Seeing a yellow flower with orange lines Donna moved past him to see it. Before her the color was so vivid, it was like a sunset flashed upon a flower. She reached forward to touch the velvety looking petals and a puff of orange pollen filled her face, "Doctor," she choked out.

He was by her side instantly, she felt him even if the pain she was experiencing blinded her, "shh it's okay. You touched a wompom. They are designed to preserve themselves from being picked. It released a hormone to keep you from hurting it. You'll be fine, it'll wear off," he assured her.

Donna clutched at his tie desperately, "lower your voice," she begged, "my head is killing me," Donna whimpered.

"Come on," he urged picking her up.

Feeling movement Donna clutched to him fearful of falling, "don't you dare drop me," she threatened not letting go of his tie.

"I'm stronger than I look," he promised. "We'll be back on the TARDIS in a few minutes. Hopefully you learned your lesson," he declared.

Even through her intense pain Donna reached out connecting her hand to the Doctor's face, "stop trying to tell me what to do," she dared making the Doctor grow quiet. She heard the familiar creak of the TARDIS door and counted the steps until the Doctor deposited her in her room. She felt him begin to leave her, "stay, please," she begged.

The Doctor came back beside her brushing her hair out of her face, "I'm just getting you a glass of water. I'll be right back," he promised.

Biting her lip waiting for him to return she opened her eyes trying to see anything. Donna jumped when she heard the glass clink on her bedside table, "I can't see," she worried.

"It will clear in a few hours," the Doctor assured her. She felt his hands on her assisting Donna to sit up, "take this," he urged as she felt two pills go into her mouth and the water glass meet her lips, "it will help the headache and you rest," the Doctor explained.

Smiling through her pain Donna relaxed against the pillows. The room went eerily quiet until Donna cleared her throat, "Doctor," she called.

"Yes," he answered almost next to her ear.

Licking her lips self-consciously she took a deep breath, "thank you. And I'm sorry," she offered hoping he could forgive her for her stupidity.

The Doctor gave her hand a squeeze, "it's okay. You didn't mean to get into trouble. Like you said, it follows me. I should have been more proactive," he apologized.

"This isn't your fault," Donna clarified, "I wondered off. You're always telling me not to," she sighed. The quiet disturbed her on so many levels, "Doctor," she called again.

"Still here," he answered. She reached out a little lower than expected her hand connecting with his belt. Donna could feel her face blush, "what do you need," he asked taking her hand.

She took a deep breath worrying her lip. If anything Donna didn't want to seem needy but she couldn't see and that worried her on a core level, "can you stay? Just until I'm better," she asked almost whimpering.

"Always," the Doctor promised. She felt him move onto the bed beside her, wrapping his arms around her.

Donna pressed against him, wrapping her arm across his waist and burying her face in his chest breathing him in, "if I'm too close," she began.

"No, I understand," he soothed her gently petting her.

Listening to his double heart beats Donna couldn't think of all the times she had done this with Alec's single beat, "thank you for putting up with me," she mumbled. "I'm so tired," Donna realized trying to fight the sleep.

"It's the medication, it will relax you so your body can recover," he explained, "give in, it's okay. I'll be right here," the Doctor promised.

The pounding of her skull woke Donna up. Blinking her eyes open she was relieved that she could see although a bit blurry. Feeling and looking around for the Doctor she found him nowhere close by. Donna scrambled to the bathroom turning on the blinding light and ruffled through her medicine cabinet grabbing the familiar bottle that would provide her with relief. Slipping two brown pills into her hand Donna gulped down water straight from the faucet.

She closed her eyes splashing her face with water before starting to feel the headache subside. It didn't disappear but it was better than originally. Padding out into the console room the Doctor was right where she expected him to be, tinkering under the console. Donna made herself comfortable on the jump seat before clearing her throat.

"Donna," the Doctor called startled by her enough to bump his head. He scooted out from under it rubbing where he had made contact and seeing her sleepy face. "How are you feeling," he asked sitting up.

Kicking her legs back and forth she stared at the grating, "better now. I can see," she shrugged. "Thanks for taking care of me," Donna began, "again," she added.

"No problem. That's what Doctor's do. Do you need something to help with the lasting headache," he inquired.

Shaking her head to indicate no only made her head throb in protest, "I took some Ibuprofen," she said.

"You took what," the Doctor yelped.

"Ibuprofen," Donna repeated.

Jumping up the Doctor rushed over to her, "how many did you take," he demanded.

"Why," she asked confused.

"I'm allergic to asprin," the Doctor practically screamed in her face.

Donna rolled her eyes, "I didn't give it to you dumbo," she scoffed.

"Time lords are allergic to aspirin," he clarified looking down at her stomach.

The intensity of his words sunk in, "two. I took too," she cried as the Doctor pulled her towards the medical room practically throwing her up on the table, "please, don't let anything happen to the baby," she begged.

The Doctor furiously searched the cabinets finding the syringe he was looking for, "this is going to hurt," he warned before ramming the epinephrine pen into Donna's thigh and massaging it, "this should counteract any allergic reaction," he said still worried obviously. "I'm going to get us to Martha," he explained leaving her alone.

She could feel her heart begin to race and her body shake. The fear of what she could have done to their child coursed throughout her. Donna took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She tried to focus on anything but the possibilities that could go wrong as she heard the TARDIS materialize. Finally she felt her body begin to relax. Donna tried to bring her hand up to wipe a tear from her eye but she hit herself instead, "Doctor," she mumbled realizing her body wasn't responding the way it should be. Trying again to move Donna's hand hardly moved compared to moments earlier, "Doctor," she howled but only a tiny noise came out. She tried to take a deep breath as her chest felt more compressed.

"Martha is on her way," the Doctor comforted bounding in and seeing Donna lying still on the table. "Donna," he worried moving closer. Seeing that she wasn't moving the Doctor checked her pulse breathing a sigh of relief feeling her heart beat beneath his fingers. The Doctor gently tucked her hair behind her ear looking into her open eyes and seeing the tears that were clouding her vision seeping out, "it's going to be okay," he promised holding her close to him. "You're going to be okay. I promise. You don't get to die. You don't get to leave me too. I won't allow it," he rambled rocking her, "I love you and our baby so much and you are no allowed to die," he proclaimed. "Do you hear that, I love you. I said it. I said it to the universe. I'm not going to refuse to say it again and have someone be taken from me. I love her and you can't take her from me," he sobbed.

"Doctor," she heard Martha call finding the in the medical bay, "oh God."

He clutched her closer to him, "she isn't moving," he cried refusing to let go.

Donna could feel Martha's presence beside him, "I need you to lay her down," she instructed checking over Donna, "she only had the asprin and epinephrine," clarified Martha.

"Yes," he answered.

"I need methulpredrisidone and famotidine," to block the receptors and prevent a secondary reaction," Martha noted opening a drawer and pulling out something. Donna felt a pinch in her arm as other drawers pounded as someone frantically searched them.

She heard the Doctor growl slamming open another cupboard, "finally," he chirped rushing back to her side. Feeling another pinch Donna noticed her breathing become more difficult, there was a rasping sound coming from her as her chest moved less and less.

"I'm going to have to intubate. I need etomidate, a laryngoscope and a size 21 endotracheal tube," she ordered. Donna was trying to hang on, she was reeling from what the Doctor said still but most of all she was focusing on breathing. If was the last thing she did she was going to breath as long as she could for the baby. She felt a needle again, "don't you give up," Martha dared tilting Donna's head back as she felt her mouth fall open. She tried to hang onto the words coming out of Martha's mouth but when she felt the cool medal everything became fuzzy and she couldn't help but fall into the darkness.

Hearing a rhythmic beating Donna tried to open her eyes, she could feel something cool against her hand and another double beating echoing throughout the room, "any change," the Doctor asked.

"No," Martha sighed. Donna felt someone lean on the bed as Martha cleared her throat, "Doctor, it's been two weeks since she started breathing on her own and she still hasn't woke," she began.

She could feel the cool thing, a hand, it was a hand, tighten around hers. "I'm not discussing it," he clarified. "How is the baby," the Doctor pushed.

"He is fine, normal rhythms, typical development for a thirteen week fetus," she promised.

Donna could feel a hand on her stomach, "that's my boy. He's a fighter, just like his mum," the Doctor whispered.

Clearing her throat Martha adjusted herself on the bed, "you need to start thinking about what you want to happen if she doesn't wake in another week or so. You can't keep doing this to yourself. You need to be prepared that she might never," Martha tried.

"Stop," the Doctor interrupted raising his voice, "I'm not going to give up on her. I'm never going to give up on her. She wouldn't give up on me," the Doctor's voice broke.

"It's been three weeks since we stopped sedating her," Martha said, "it only takes two days for them to wear off," she began.

Feeling her hand hit the covers Donna tried to reach out to him, "I know the statistics. I know that it has been three weeks, six days, 20 hours, thirteen minutes and two seconds since the last time I heard her voice and three weeks, six days, 19 hours, twenty three minutes and fifty nine seconds since you intubated her. I have looked over every test result at least seventy three times. I may have lost track of the last time I slept or ate because I'm scared that she will wake up alone if I leave her side but I know exactly what the statistics are and the chances of her waking and how the lessen each day," he whimpered breaking into a sob.

She needed to touch him, to comfort him, to let him know she was here, he was fighting to hold his hand. To rumple his hair and promise that everything would be alright but when Donna tried to move her hand again it refused to cooperate. She could feel his tear drops against her hand. Okay, Donna thought, moving something big wasn't going to work. Maybe she could make a noise. She tried to open her mouth, swallow hard, moan, anything to draw his attention. When that failed she worked to open her eyes, to flick her tongue, anything with no avail. God she wished she was telepathic. It would make everything so much easier she thought.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to force your hand," Martha apologized.

"I know," the Doctor claimed. "I know but you think I'm in some dream land when I'm not. I'm more aware of what's going on. I wish I wasn't. I wish I could fall asleep and have this all be a dream. Everyone I love they all get hurt. Look at what your family suffered, what you suffered because I chose you to travel with me. I'm worse than poison," he sniffed.

Donna had to move, there was no other choice. She wasn't giving her body a chance to say no. Her Doctor needed her. Stupid, stubborn ass that he is. This was not his fault. It's not his fault that he is the sun they all wish to revolve around. God, her brain must have turned to mush these past few weeks. She took a deep breath trying to center herself. Move your pinky. Move your right pinky. Praying for something to come but nothing did.

"No, it's not like that. We all love traveling with you. We wouldn't have given it up for anything," Martha confirmed.

"Then you all are stupid apes," he stormed, "idiots for trusting me," the Doctor said standing up and leaving them.

Hearing the door slam shut Donna wanted to run to him, to slap him, and hold him tight. She felt a hand on her foot, "you need to fight. If not for yourself and this baby you need to fight for him. He's worse than when he lost Rose and I never thought that was possible," Martha said leaving her alone in the room.

Damn it. She was right here. She could hear them. Why couldn't she move yet? Why couldn't she reach out and let them now she was here. What Donna would give to talk. She could feel her eyes become heavy at the tears developing under her eyelids. Fuck, she could feel the tears tickle as it fell across her face and Donna couldn't even wipe it away. She took a deep breath. I don't know who is out there listening or what is going on but the Doctor, he needs me. So, if you could help this process along she hoped. Donna waited expectantly although she wasn't sure what for. Until she felt it. Deep inside her womb, Donna felt something so light, dare she call it a flutter. It felt like someone was trying to tickle her from the inside out. Is that you she thought feeling another flutter in return. She was so happy she could cry. She couldn't believe it she was feeling her baby, her child, their child. She wanted to scream and should and tell the Doctor so he could share in this excitement. But she was stuck and felt like she'd be doomed to be a turnip forever.


	9. Sometimes You Don't Get What You Want

Donna wasn't sure how long she had been laying there before she heard the door open. It had felt like forever even if she currently had no concept of time. "Donna," he said. It was the Doctor's voice. She felt his hand on her stomach, "what's wrong? Is it your mum," he questioned caressing her stomach.

Can you talk to him? Are you communicating with your Dad she mentally asked feeling that light familiar flicker again. Oh my God. Why didn't I think of that? Tell him I'm here. Show him I'm here. God I don't even know how you two communicate. I have so much to learn. Let him know I'm okay and not to worry. Please she begged. She needed him to know that things were going to be fine. That everything was going to be fine.

"You're in there," he said but Donna could hear the smile in his voice. It was one of hope. "Martha, Martha come quick," the Doctor yelled. She felt him take her hand holding it tightly, "can you squeeze your hand? Give me a sign," he begged.

The door burst open, "what's wrong," panted Martha.

"Donna's awake. Er, her mind is," he failed to explain. How such the Doctor she thought. His words don't come when he needs them. "The baby, he can sense her, communicate with her maybe."

There was silence except for footsteps across the floor. Donna heard a click before feeling a hand on her face. Suddenly a bright light was in her eye and then the other, "her pupils are dilating normally," Martha explained looking at Donna as if what the Doctor had said was no consequence.

"She's in there," he told her belligerently.

Martha peered into Donna's eyes, "her lids aren't closing," she noticed. Donna looked up meeting Martha's eyes before hearing the Doctor almost whimper.

"That's good right," he asked.

Her eyes flicked over to him, she could barely see him out of the corner. His face was so sad, begging for hope, "wait," Martha gasped. "Donna," she questioned as she flicked her eyes back to Martha. "Doctor say something again," she urged.

"What? What do you want me to say," he worried fearful that he would say the wrong thing.

Donna looked backed to the Doctor as best as she could from her current position, "she's following us, our voices," she explained.

"Can you hear us? Are you in there," the Doctor asked standing to looking into Donna's eyes.

She searched his eyes. Come on Donna thought to herself. Say something. Move something. Let him know you're here.

Martha reached out placing a hand on his shoulder, "Donna if you can hear us blink one slow blink for yes," she suggested.

Donna closed her eyes, counted for three seconds and opened them again. "That's a yes," the Doctor bellowed.

"Can you move anything," Martha questioned. She didn't know what to do for no so she just sat there looking at the two of them. "How about you blink twice or no," Martha suggested.

The Doctor beamed brightly not dropping her gaze, "that's my Donna, always the fighter," he smiled giving her hand a small squeeze.

Reaching into her pocket, Martha pulled out a small tablet making notes to herself, "I'm going to have to run more tests," she noted. "I'll go get what I need and be back. It's good to see you back," she smiled leaving them alone.

Meeting the Doctor's eyes after her brief glance at Martha Donna noticed he was just staring at her. She could feel the heat rush to her cheeks, "I missed you," the Doctor confessed. "I'm so happy you're awake. I didn't know. I thought. I was worried," his voice faltered not wanting to admit that he wasn't as sure she would pull through as he tried to portray to Martha. "The baby is doing great. He's growing strong, just like his mum," the Doctor continued in his typical rambling fashion, "it's been almost four weeks. An entire month," he sighed. "Donna, do you remember what happened," he hesitantly asked after a long pause.

She paused trying to think, trying to see what the last thing she remembered was. They had been on that planet and something happened. But she didn't think it was that bad, certainly not bad enough to put her into a four week coma. Donna blinked her eyes slowly indicating the signal for no.

"Your system began to shut down. I think it was trying to protect you, preserve your body after some sort of reaction to the asprin. I couldn't connect with you or the baby. I think it was him. The asprin hit his system and somehow he went into a healing coma taking you into one too. It's something that time lords have the ability to do and because you don't have a respiratory bypass system your body shut down unable to sustain itself," the Doctor explained. "I'm not sure. The baby isn't entirely on the same communication level as I," he added pausing. "Honestly, as much as I hate to admit it, we just aren't entirely sure."

That wasn't what Donna wanted to hear. When the Doctor wasn't sure that was never a good thing.

He sat down on the bed facing her as he met her eyes. The Doctor gently cupped her face with one hand tucking a curl behind her ear, "I thought you were going to die on me back there," he finally said what he had been hesitating to.

Donna relished in the feel of his hand on her skin, the way he used to when he was Alec. She blinked her eyes to indicate no again. She would never leave him, never against her will. Donna would fight heaven and hell to ensure she never left the Doctor alone again.

The Doctor offered Donna a smile before taking a deep, shaky breath, "I love you, Donna Eileen Noble. I love everything about you. Even the things I should hate. I'm so sorry it took me so long to tell you. That the possibility of losing you was the first time I realized I had to tell you. If you never move a muscle or speak a word again I'm still going to love you until the day I can no longer regenerate. I know you fell in love with Alec but do you think you could ever one day fall in love with me," he questioned his eyes pleading for her to say yes.

Donna laid there unable to do anything, to say anything certain that she had to be dreaming or possibly even dead for this to be happening. It couldn't be real. He was right, she did fall in love with Alec but not in the way he thought. She only ever fell for Alec because she was already in love with the Doctor. If she had loved Alec she wouldn't have so desperately wanted the Doctor back, needed him back and definitely wouldn't have turned him back. She blinked her eyes twice. No, she couldn't fall in love with him, she was already in love with him.

"Oh, okay," the Doctor exhaled.

Her heart broke. She didn't mean it that way. Donna blinked her eyes twice again. No. No. No. God damn it, look at me she willed noticing the Doctor was staring at their joined hands.

Martha entered the room distracting him with an odd tray looking thing, "I'm going to scan you. It will be simple," she explained swiping the tray over her. The tray, Donna had seen that in the medical room on the TARDIS before.

"Anything," the Doctor asked hopeful as soon as Martha began to review the data.

Scrunching her face Martha shook her head, "this doesn't make sense. Nothing has changed, not one thing has changed from the tests I ran earlier," he explained handing the tablet to the Doctor so he could review them.

Feeling her hand drop back to the bed she wished he was still holding it. They would figure out what happened. She knew the Doctor would. Right? He had to. She couldn't live like this, unable to communicate with anyone, unable to do anything. How could she be a proper mum?

Hearing rapid beeping both the Doctor and Martha looked to Donna, "what's wrong," the Doctor worried taking her hand.

"Her heart rate and respiration has increased," she said meeting Donna's eyes, "can you hear me," Martha asked.

"Donna calm down. Please. Take a deep breath," the Doctor willed.

But she couldn't her heart was racing, head pounding and she felt like she was dying. She wasn't going to survive this. It wasn't fair to the Doctor, to their son. Oh God and she hadn't even thought of her Gramps and own Mum.

"You need to calm down," Martha tried to instruct one more time to no avail.

The Doctor met her eyes pleadingly, "please do something," he begged.

Removing a needle and vial from her pocket Martha drew something into a syringe, "this will make it better," she promised as Donna felt a pinch.

"What are you doing," he screeched.

"I think she's having a panic attack, it will relax her," explained Martha.

Donna could feel everything become warm around her as her heart and breathing began to slow. She could feel herself begin to slip under. No. She didn't want to go back. She'd just woken up. No. She tried to blink but her eyes were fighting her wanting to close even more. As much as she wanted to fight it there was going to be no winning. She couldn't win against the drugs. They were too strong Donna quickly realized having no alternative but to give in.

As her eyes blinked open Donna noticed two things, one being that her vision field was blurry and the second that she was laying on her side facing someone sitting in a chair, "it was a dream," she rasped realizing that if she truly couldn't move she surely wouldn't be on her side. "Doctor," she croaked from her deeply dry throat, "Doctor," she tried again reaching for him but her arm didn't move. Donna blinked again trying to clear her vision. Why couldn't she see well? She took a deep breath in, "Doctor," she shouted although it came out only as loud as her voice regularly was.

Opening his eyes he looked around trying to find where the noise had come from, "you're awake," he smiled sitting up and scrubbing his face.

"Was it a dream," Donna asked.

"You can talk," he yelped practically jumping out of his seat, "can you move," the Doctor inquired.

She moved as if to shake her head no but alas no movement came, "no," she sighed.

"But you can talk," the Doctor reasoned. "That means your body has to be waking up. You'll be good as new in a few days," he cheered taking her hand.

Donna swallowed hard, "why am I on my side," she questioned.

"We've been doing it since you could breathe on your own. Prevents bed sores," he explained allowing them to fall into a silence. "How are you feeling," he finally asked.

She rolled her eyes, at least they were obeying, "I've been better," she laughed which quickly turned into a cough allowing drool to escape from her mouth. How much more could she embarrass herself.

Unphased the Doctor simply wiped it away like it was some minute detail, "it's good to hear your voice," he confessed. "I've missed you putting me in my place," he admitted.

"Good because I don't plan to stop now," Donna ensured.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," the Doctor laughed being interrupted by the growl of Donna's stomach. "You must be hungry," he chuckled hearing it.

Licking her lips Donna could feel her cheeks redden, "maybe, a little bit," she responded.

"It's been nearly four weeks. You have to be starving. I know I always am after a regeneration coma. I'll go make you something. Do you have any requests," he asked.

She didn't want him to leave, didn't want to be alone without him, "no," she protested, "pleased don't go," Donna pled.

"You need to eat," he reminded her, "for you and for the baby," the Doctor started.

Donna realized she wasn't going to win with this, "on two conditions. One you hurry and two you make something for yourself too. I heard what you said the other day. The only way I'm going to allow you to take care of me is if you take care of yourself," she reasoned.

He leaned in pressing a kiss to her forehead, "you don't have any other option but to accept my help," he laughed standing up, "but I will have something too," he promised leaving her alone.

Staring at the empty chair Donna was surprised to see the Doctor back so soon, "that was fast," she almost questioned.

"Here," the Doctor said placing a walkie talkie on the bed by her mouth, "I've gone without your voice too many days."

She was unable to hide her smile, "thank you," she beamed as he left her.

"Donna Noble come in, over and out," he patched through.

"If I didn't know better I would say you're going to enjoy this part," she rolled her eyes.

There was a scoff from the other end of the line, "maybe you do know me too well," the Doctor responded. "How does pudding sound," he suggested.

"Not really in the mood. Um," she paused thinking about what she really wanted, "how long would it take to make your banana nut oatmeal with walnuts," Donna asked.

Laughter was all she got in response, "not long at all," he said. "Let me guess, cravings," the Doctor questioned.

"Something like that," she almost purred feeling a flutter within her, "I know he sure is happy and likes the idea though," Donna promised.

She could hear the kettle screeching through the walkie, "oh? How do you know that," the Doctor asked a bit out of breath.

"Doctor, be careful. Don't burn yourself," Donna worried.

"I won't. Completely in control here," he tried to ease her fears.

Completely in control. Those words never meant good things, "please don't blow the bloody kitchen up," Donna warned.

"How do you know the baby fancies banana oatmeal," the Doctor pushed almost desperate to change the subject.

Donne rolled her eyes needlessly since the Doctor was unable to see them, "I can feel him," she answered.

"Feel him," the Doctor squeaked, "what do you mean?"

She waited to feel the little flicker again "inside me you dumbo," Donna explained. "It's perfectly normal. Something that's supposed to happen," she assured him.

Hearing the knife pound against the counter Donna figured the Doctor was focusing on not losing a finger, "like kicking," he continued.

"Maybe," Donna said. "I mean it could be. I'm not exactly sure. It's like a little flicker barely there at all. Like bubbles popping against the skin but inside me," she tried to describe.

There was silence on the other line, "bubbles," repeated the Doctor bursting back into the room with two bowls, "is that what it feels like to have a baby inside you?"

"I guess. Rather new at this," she laughed watching the Doctor set the steaming bowls down, "I'm going to roll you onto your back and sit you up," he told her.

She took back every other moment she ever thought was embarrassing. Nothing compared to this. The Doctor leaned over turning her onto her back and arranging her arms by her side. His smell was intoxicating as his neck hovered inches from her nose. He noticed she was no longer covered by t blankets and pulled them from under her scraping his finger across her bum. Donna tried not to notice, she really did but when he laid the blanket over her and accidently grazed her boob it was too much and she burst into giggles.

"I'm sorry," he stammered.

Donna couldn't take it as his ear tips flushed red, "I know, I'm sorry," she gasped through laughs. "I just," she paused snickering still, "it's not you it's me," Donna said bursting into laughter again. He shoved his hands in his pockets rocking on his heels. Now she had done it, she had made him nervous, "I'm sorry," Donna tried to apologize.

The Doctor shrugged off her apology, "it's okay," he sighed sitting on the edge of her bed and offering her a spoonful.

Accepting the offered bit Donna was overcome by her amazed senses, "how long has it been since I ate again," she questioned not caring about the answer, "mmmm," she moaned as he fed her another bite. She felt the tickling in her stomach, "you have your daddy to thank for that," she complemented.

"I take it our son is pleased," the Doctor inquired taking a bite from his own bowl.

Watching him prepare another spoon for her Donna grinned, "very much so," she agreed. "You should see if you can feel it," she suggested.

"Really," the Doctor asked excitedly.

"Yeah, come on place your hand on my stomach," she instructed. The Doctor carefully placed his hand on her abdomen, "lower," Donna encouraged watching him move his hand south, "right there. Hold on," she told him. She waited for the baby to move again. Feeling the familiar tickle she smiled, "a little to the right," she told him.

His smile turned to a frown, "I can't feel anything. Is he moving," the Doctor questioned.

"Hold on, he hasn't yet," she continued waiting for the tickle from within silently praying the Doctor could feel what she could. She felt it again, "there," Donna chimed hopeful that the Doctor felt it too.

Donna watched as he closed his eyes concentrating hard trying to feel their child within her. After a moment the Doctor looked up meeting her eyes, "nothing," he sighed.

"You will, maybe he just isn't strong enough yet," she offered.

The Doctor nodded, "yeah. I'm sure that's it," he agreed although it seemed as if it was just for her benefit rather than out of belief.

She wanted to grab his hand, ruffle his hair, anything to show support. But when Donna tried to move nothing worked yet. "He knows you're there. You said you can feel him. I don't get that mental stuff so maybe this is just mine for now," Donna offered watching the Doctor shake off his disappointment preparing her another bite of food.

"Open up," he ordered.

Sticking her tongue out instead of doing as he said Donna winked, "you're just going to have to make me if you think it's going to be that easy. Come on, cheer up. I'm sorry you can't feel him kick yet," Donna apologized.

"If you won't eat I will," the Doctor told her matter of fact taking the bit he had prepared for her.

"Hey," Donna protested, "even if you're trying to teach me a lesson don't take it out on your son," she laughed noticing a book in the chair, "what's that," she inquired.

He reached over holding up the book, "just what I was reading," he answered.

Donna tried to see it, "and that is," she pushed.

"Lord of the Rings. The Two Towers to be exact," he grinned holding it up for her to see.

"I thought you've read that over a dozen times," Donna quipped.

The Doctor thumbed through the pages, "I have but I wasn't reading it for my benefit," he trailed off taking another bite.

She opened her mouth expectantly, "can I have a turn," Donna asked. "Who were you reading it for then," she questioned.

Gathering a big bite he filled Donna's mouth, "our son. I've already read him Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia series, Dune and The Hobbit," he brightly shone.

"Don't you think some of those are a bit harsh for a child in utero," hinted Donna.

He shrugged his shoulders feeding her another bite, "you could say that but it's better than those rubbish vampire love stories from the states," he shot.

"Hey, it's not rubbish. It's rather wonderful and I wouldn't go around reading it to our child either," she scolded.

The Doctor leaned in closer to her stopping just inches from Donna's face, "you like the romance eh? And just what is so grand about that garbage," he dared.

Donna gulped hard, "nothing is stupid about it. Bella loves Edward who is more thousands of years older than she, while Jake loves her. She made a choice when she chose Edward, for better or worse, even if it wasn't the right one, even if she'd be better with a different. You can't fault her for that," she explained.

"Sounds like you sympathize with her," the Doctor said.

She took a deep breath rolling her eyes, "maybe I do. Isn't that what all great romance novels do? Banish the barrier between the reader and the characters? What's so good about you're hobbits," Donna pushed.

"Ordinary creatures doing extraordinary things. Anyone can be a hero, not just those believed to be destined. Even those who are told they can't be," he enlightened her.

"Go on then, read to me," Donna urged.

He sat up quickly, "what," the Doctor squeaked.

"Read to me. You don't have to start over. You can pick up from where you left off," she encouraged.

"Donna," he whined, "it won't be the same if you start in the middle," the Doctor protested.

She shook her head, "let me tell you a secret. I read the last page before I finish the book."

"That's cheating," he accused. "How can you expect to read to the end if you already know what's going to happen?"

"I travel with you don't I," Donna giggled forgetting for a moment that she couldn't move and reaching out to him.

The Doctor looked down where her hand was now touching his, "you moved. Your hand. It moved," he cheered.

Trying again Donna was successful in moving her fingers, "well that's a start yeah," she smiled as the Doctor pulled her to his arms in celebration. She patted the bed next to her when he set her back, "come on then read to me," Donna continued not letting up.

Setting the bowls aside the Doctor made himself comfortable beside Donna on the bed. Putting his brainy specs on he opened the page where he last left off, "no falling asleep," he told her.

Donna bit her lip, "no promises. I can't help it if your voice is relaxing."

"Relaxing," the Doctor asked arching an eyebrow.

"Shut up and read," Donna instructed relaxing her head against his shoulder and breathing him in, "you also make a quite comfy pillow," she giggled taking a deep breath and closing her eyes.

Shaking his head the Doctor beamed so bright his dimples showed, "don't think I won't be bringing that up in the future," he warned beginning to read as Donna started to doze off to the sound of his voice.


	10. The Ways of Healing

Waking nest to the Doctor had become a regular occurrence during his time as a human. Curled around him Donna could feel eyes on her as she opened her own, "how long have you been awake," she asked meeting the Doctor's eyes.

He smiled looking down at her, "A while," he admitted.

"Please tell me you haven't been watching me sleep this whole time," she begged.

"I have not been watching you sleep," the Doctor lied receiving a swift smack for his transgression, "ow," he protested.

Donna sat up in bed pulling the blanket around her, "then don't lie," she advised him.

"I was only telling you what you asked," he reasoned rubbing his sore forearm.

She closed her eyes resting her head back on his chest, "I'm not ready to get up," she whined.

"You might want to," the Doctor suggested, "or at least take a look at your fully functioning arms and legs," he said.

Opening her eyes again she looked at her arm splayed around his waist and leg curved around his thus entrapping him, "they really work," she beamed wriggling her fingers and toes in awe. "I didn't. I thought. I can feel them and everything," Donna squealed excited.

She unwrapped herself from the Doctor stretching out unlike she had for weeks. "I'm glad you feel so much better," he smiled.

"Better, no I feel fantastic," Donna chanted tossing the blanket off and throwing her legs off the bed, "like I could run a marathon," she giggled jumping up. Her legs however were not as eager to work as Donna had thought they would be. As soon as she rose up her knees buckled beneath her as she gripped the table and bed to prevent from hitting the floor too hard.

"Donna," the Doctor cried rushing off the bed to her side and assessing her, "are you alright."

Nodding she closed her eyes, "help up would be nice," Donna said opening them again. She refused to look at him knowing he would see the tears beginning to well in her eyes.

Taking her under her arms the Doctor pulled Donna to her feet and helped her into the bed again, "here you go right as rain," he said.

"No, not right as rain. If I was right I'd be walking," he growled still not looking at him.

He sat on the bed edge, "you will be. Your body is still healing. Give it a chance," he begged, "for the both of you," the Doctor urged placing his hand on her stomach.

"It feels like that's all I'm doing," she whined unable to prevent the pout that presented itself.

Leaning in the Doctor pressed a kiss to her forehead, "I know," he sympathized, "but maybe breakfast might help some," he suggested.

"We can try that I guess," she shrugged.

Standing he offered her a wink, "it'll help you gain your strength," the Doctor assured her leaving Donna alone. She changed her position on the bed wiggling her toes again content just to have them in mostly functional condition. "McCoy paging Kirk," boomed the Doctor's voice through the walkie talkie.

Donna rolled her eyes searching for it on the bedside table, "yes," she responded trying not to laugh at the absurdity of this.

"How do eggs sound," he suggested.

She shrugged her shoulders, "that's fine. Honestly, I'm not really hungry," she confessed.

"Nonsense," the Doctor contradicted, "you need to eat. Eggs and toast it is," he said. She could hear pots and pans banging in the background, "how are you feeling today," the Doctor inquired.

Flopping onto her side Donna pulled the walkie to her mouth, "I'm fine," she assured him.

"It would be okay if you aren't," he told her.

"I would tell you if I wasn't," Donna spat. "I'm fine. In fact I'd be a whole lot better if you'd stop asking me all the bloody time," pushed.

Hearing sizzling on the other end Donna waited for a response, "how is the baby," he asked instead.

"Shouldn't you know. I'm sure you two were communicating while I had you trapped here," she commented.

"I, I wasn't trapped," the Doctor rebuked. "I could have left if I wanted to," he explained.

Unable to believe her ears she shook her head, "what," Donna questioned.

"I mean, I, um, if I needed to go and do something else I could have," he reasoned.

She bit her lip, "you, the one who can barely stand still for five minutes felt it was more pertinent to lay in bed with me than go muck about the TARDIS," she queried.

"Like I said before, you're healing and I missed you. If I left anything could happen," he tried.

She burst into giggles, "really? What's going to happen on the TARDIS? It's perfectly safe," she laughed.

He didn't respond as she heard more clanking before it shut off. Pulling herself back proper figuring that he was on his way back Donna patiently waited, "here we go eggs, bacon, toast and orange juice," he cheered bringing a platter with plenty for the both of them. He set it on the bed hopping up himself and diving in, "eat," he encouraged from a full mouth.

Reaching for a piece of toast Donna nibbled a corner, "really not that hungry," she reminded him.

The Doctor washed down his mouthful with orange juice, "you know what I think?"

"What," she sighed not sure if she wanted to hear his latest realization.

He licked his fingers clean, "you have been too cooped up. I think we should go the library and have a movie day. Pop some corn, have some soda, watch some funnies," he suggested.

Donna wasn't sure how she felt about this. It might be nice to get out of the bed but the whole though of still not being back to herself didn't bode well, "we could just watch a movie in here," she offered.

"No, if we're going to do this we're going to do it right," he ordered removing the tray and moving to pick Donna up.

She held her arms out trying to keep him from grabbing her, "get off me," she demanded as he scooped her up.

"What would you like to watch," the Doctor asked ignoring her protestations, "In Bruges? It just was named on the list of top twenty five movies," he suggested.

Donna met his eyes wrapping her arm around him in case his arms failed him, "you're not going to let this idea go are you," she questioned.

His eyes said it all as his smile brightened, "sometimes you need to listen to order rather than be the one giving them," he told her.

"Well then, I'm much more of a Bridget Jones girl," she laughed.

"Come on," the Doctor chastised, "you're going to be a mum. You have to start thinking of movie our child can learn from," he said. "Something like The King's Speech or James Bond or," he trailed off trying to think of movies that were packed full of action and adventure.

She shook her head at his suggestion, "you act like you want me to fall right back asleep," she scolded.

"We should be able to find a compromise for at least on movie from the collection," he noted entering the library.

He set her down carefully on the couch, plumping pillows behind her to ensure Donna's comfort. "Why don't you go pick out a few options and I'll decide," she ordered.

"Just a tic," he paused turning on the popcorn maker before rummaging through the lot of videos.

Donna could smell the butter before the popping even started. It made her mouth salivate, "I may not be hungry but that smells amazing," she said to keep a moan from escaping.

"I'll take that as a good sign," he smiled peeking over his shoulder at her, "if all you do is eat popcorn and drink soda I'm okay with that."

Her mouth flew open, "okay with that? Like you have a choice. I can do what I want with my own body," she began.

"I, I, I didn't mean it like that. I meant because you'd be eating," he offered.

He came over with several movies. Half she had never heard of and the other half would bore her to tears. "Certainly you have to love something that isn't dull,"" Donna joked.

"Um," the Doctor stalled looking over his collections, "Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Trek," he began to list from his series of collections.

Harry Potter had been something she actually had seen some of and the Doctor certainly never shut up about them. Their son would most likely be addicted to the lot as well. "Maybe Harry Potter would be a good starting place," she began, "but you're still going to wat a romantic comedy with me," she warned.

"You didn't want to watch any of the Shakespeare films I provided you with," he almost whimpered.

Donna adjusted herself on the couch, "that's because none of them seem interesting. If you had something like Notting Hill or Shakespeare in Love or Love Actually maybe I'd have chosen that," she spat.

"Shakespeare was too much of a philander to ever truly have been in love," the Doctor corrected setting the Harry Potter set on the table rushing back to his shelves of movies, "The Very Thought of You," he read aloud tossing the movie over his shoulder, "must have been one of Martha's that she left," he realized finding what he was searching for. He rushed back to Donna holding out two movies before her, Pride and Prejudice in one hand and About Time in the other. "This one isn't even out in your time yet," he noted.

Taking the movie from his hand she read the synopsis, "of course it'd be about time traveling," she scoffed.

"Is it," he innocently asked smile creeping across his face.

Hitting him with the DVD she shook her head, "you bloody well know it is," she laughed. "You don't fool me spaceman," Donna warned.

The Doctor jumped away before she could get him again, "popcorn's ready," he chimed. She watched as he dished up a huge bowl bring soda for them both, "have you decided," he questioned through his full mouth.

"Yeah, we'll go with this one," she sighed, "anything as long as you don't try to make me watch a slythvine love story again we're good," she shot.

He set the popcorn down putting the movie in as Donna curled into a ball on the couch. Relaxing on the couch the Doctor stretched out, "what are you doing all the way over there," he asked noticing Donna crammed onto one cushion.

"Trying to get comfortable. It's flipping freezing in here," she said shivering.

With one pulse from the sonic the fireplace was on. The Doctor opened his arms, "come here," he urged, "I'm not cold at all."

"That's because you're always flipping freezing," she joked.

He reached over tugging on her hand, "you still need to rest. You should be lying down," he reminded her.

Donna was ready to smack him, "will you stop bloody telling me what to do," she demanded.

"Maybe if you listen for once," he flipped back, "not one companion, you all never listen," he sighed pulling a blanket from over the back of the couch for Donna.

Watching him unfold the blanket expectantly for her she rolled her eyes giving in against her better judgment, "hand over the popcorn," Donna ordered curling into him as he wrapped the fuzzy blanket around her.

"Is that better," he questioned as Donna snuggled into him.

She took a handful of popcorn putting a few kernels in her mouth at a time, "a bit," she confessed waiting for the movie to begin. It certainly started off normal enough. Of course they'd be biased about the gingers, "really time traveler and a ginger? No wonder you own this it's your dream come true," she giggled.

"Hey," the Doctor whined.

Donna watched him completely fail at New Year 's Eve, "I see why you like this. He doesn't understand human interaction either," she laughed prodding the Doctor in his side.

"I understand humans very well," he protested, "in fact I understand them better than you do," he went on.

She shifted to see his face, "and why is that because you spent almost three months as one? I don't think so sunshine," she admonished turning back to the television. The Doctor didn't respond instead just sat silently watching the movie. There was something about the character's voice, it was so monotonous and relaxing. It made pulled her deeper down and closer to sleep with every word he uttered. "Why am I so bloody tired," she complained.

"Because your body is recovering," he reminded. "You don't have to stay awake. You heal better when asleep anyways," he explained.

Nudging him with her elbow she glanced up, "you just want me to pass out so you can put Harry Potter on. I know you," she told him.

"That's not true," he proclaimed, "I would at least wait until your movie was over," the Doctor promised with a wink.

Lying there she watched as Tim failed at time traveling, again and again his plans not turning out as he wanted them to, "you two seem to have a lot in common," she laughed, "you try to prevent one bad thing from happening you screw yourself over."

"Time travel isn't always like that," he said, "good things happen," he tried to remind Donna.

"I know but you suffer so much too. You don't deserve that," she told him.

The Doctor tightened an arm around her, "shh, you're missing the movie," he said urging her to watch the television.


	11. Love

Feeling her body shift without moving is what roused Dona. She blinked her eyes open a few times taking inventory of her surroundings. The Doctor was stretched out on the couch half under and half beside her with the blanket covering them, "how long have I been out," she mumbled still allowing her head to pillow on his chest.

"Three hours and eighteen minutes and seven seconds," he answered not looking up from the telly.

Ominous music played as skulls came into view with a snake slithering along a dark path. Her body coiled back from the snake and into the Doctor automatically as Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire came across the screen, "what one is this," she asked.

"Fourth," the Doctor replied watching expectantly.

Donna shifted looking at him, "then I've been asleep a lot more than three hours sunshine," she protested.

The Doctor laughed, "no, I skipped the first two. Started with The Prisoner of Azkaban," he confessed. She moved to open her mouth again but the Doctor covered it with his hand, "trying to watch," he shushed her.

Watching the old man enter into the creepy house wish eerie music playing Donna didn't think this was going to end well. That bloke in the leather jacket looked familiar. Where had she seen him before? "What's he from," she asked.

"I don't know," he dismissed continuing to watch as Harry awoke from his nightmare.

She was almost done watching it and about to either try to stand up or beg the Doctor for some chips when the games went south. She anxiously watched as Harry and his friends tried to hide when an angry sounding booted man came on screen sending skulls into the sky.

"Doctor," she shouted startling him so much that he not only jumped but screamed.

"What," he demanded.

Donna scrambled for the channel changer, "that bloke looks just like you," she shouted.

"No he doesn't," he shut her down.

But the resemblance was uncanny, "hold on," Donna said twisting her body up and ruffling his hair and pulling it out, "you haven't shaved and if I took a flat iron to your hair you could be flipping twins," she told him.

"I can't see the," he trailed off meeting her eyes as she continued to play with his hair trying to make it like the actor's in the movie.

She scrunched her face at it, "almost," she sighed still not getting it exactly right.

"I uh, I, um, I think I should go," he suggested.

Donna watched him carefully, "go where," she questioned.

"Make food. For you. What would you like," he asked moving from beneath her.

Smiling she rolled her eyes, "I swear you can read minds sometimes," Donna laughed. "I was actually craving chips. Do you think you could muster up some," she wondered.

"I think I know a place," he laughed standing.

"Doctor," she called before he left, "could you possibly accompany me back to the bedroom?"

He stopped dropping his mouth open, "accompany," he asked.

"Yeah, can't walk remember," Donna reminded him.

Hurrying back over to her he nodded, "yes. Sorry about that."

Donna wrapped her arm around the Doctor's neck as he picked her up. "Thank you for this. It was a great idea even if I just slept through it. You take such good care of me," she said moving to press a kiss to his cheek.

"You're we," the Doctor cut off as their lips accidently met instead.

Pulling quickly back and bringing her fingers to her lips she was completely surprised, "I'm sorry I didn't," she stammered.

"No, no, certainly not," he nodded not looking at her the rest of the way to her room. "Here you are," he beamed laying Donna on her bed, "I'll be back before you know it," he promised leaning in to kiss her forehead goodbye.

Misjudging him Donna leaned up and their lips met again but this time she didn't back away. Instead she threaded the fingers of her right hand into his brown locks tugging him down to her. With her other hand she encircled his tie pulling him until there was no space between the two of them, "mmm," she moaned.

The Doctor pulled back meeting her eyes, "I'm not Alec," he reminded her.

"I know," she said. Donna took his head in her hands stilling it, "I love you," she promised.

His eyes swirled with confusion, "but you said no," he stated.

"I never loved Alec. It was always you," she corrected.

Reaching out Donna took his hands bringing them to her temples, "it's always been you," she repeated.

"But you wore his shirt, you sleep with the teddy bear he gave you," the Doctor protested.

Donna allowed her hand to trail from his face to his chest, "I think I was trying to convince myself that I loved him more than you. So it hurt less. I did love him but only because I love you. I could never have opened that watch otherwise," she confessed.

"Oh Donna," he gasped overwhelmed. His breath ghosted across her lips making her shiver.

They've touched several times. Too many to count, holding hands, pulling one from danger, hitting, hugs of happiness and sadness and more recently cuddles in the night but this touch is different. When she pulls him to her the Doctor is reserved, unlike the desperate hunger that filled him after Midnight and Mesaline. His touch is careful, planned, weary and full of worship. But it's not that of Alec's it's explorative like only the Doctor's could be.

Closing the distance between them the Doctor brushed his lips over hers. Sighing at the touch her fingertips brushed the knot in his tie pulling on it until it successfully became undone so she could throw it a side.

The Doctor's hands searched for the softness of her skin, cupping her breasts in his palms carefully and bunching her shirt up. Donna raised her arms allowing him to slip it off easily with the only result being a broken kiss and a few giggles during the shuffle. Instead of returning to her mouth the Doctor dipped his head nuzzling into Donna's collar bone. He grazed his way purposefully to the valley that lie between her two mountains, "this pregnancy looks good on you," he mumbled sinking his tongue between the cure of her breasts.

Having been freed from her shirt Donna began tugging his from his trousers. Turning her hands to his buttons she grasped at them desperately searching for skin to skin contact. Forcing his hands from their current conquest search she pushed his shirt from his shoulders as he sent it flying longing to return them to her ample chest. Inching a hand behind her he unclasped her bra, plucking it from her and tossing it aside in one fluid movement, "gotten good at that," she giggle between pants of excitement.

Donna kissed him full on the mouth as she parted his lips gasping softly his tongue searching for hers and meeting in a soft wet frenzy. Wanting to feel him she lost track of her intentions as the Doctor snaked his hand down her body. Trailing his hand down he rubbed her through the thin cotton pajamas until she arched against him allowing a low hungry moan to escape.

In the darkness all she could see was his bright eyes, and make out his profile. She wanted him inside her, needed him inside her, this final step of their journey together. Donna reached for his trousers starting to unbutton them but once again side tracked as his delicate fingers began to trace the rim of her waist band.

Pushing beneath her damp cotton his fingers found their way to her engorged mound caressing it into submission and cradling her as he rocked his palm gently against her. Craving more Donna thrust up arching against him and sighing as the pressure provided a brief release and a shaky moan that emitted unwillingly making the Doctor beam in pride.

Allowing a finger to dip inside her and feel the full gravity of her slickness the Doctor hummed smugly. He dipped another finger inside her until Donna's body trembled as he brushed over her clit, "you won't last very much longer," he dared meeting her eyes.

She bit her lip forcing her eyes closed. Despite in the dark Donna felt her face warm self-conscious of his eyes on her, taking everything in before him. He leaned in curing her fear with another kiss. Raising her hips the Doctor tugged the material down tossing the damp clothing aside.

Taking this as her cue Donna returned her hands to his now very tight brown trousers. She could feel his hard and erect beneath her hand as she sought to release him. Brushing her hand over his cock she went to work unzipping his fly and reduce his straining. Undoing his belt Donna pushed his trousers down over his slim waist taking his pants with them. The Doctor kicked to free himself as they tangled around his ankles resulting in more shared laughter.

Suddenly nothing separated them. He slowly plunged inside her causing Donna to gasp. She moved with him arching her back desperately so he could enter her deeper and fill her more. Clinging to him Donna cold feel the contrast of the warm familiar gold band against his cool bare skin. He was thrusting inside her, Donna frantic to meet his pace as they raced closer to climax.

She could feel her body tensing as he continued to grow within her. Tugging him to her she needed all of him, now was not the time for holding back. Donna had already admitted how much she loved him. Her body desired to be one with hi like no other before. It was different than any time before. "Doctor," she panted feeling her body begin to start shuddering before the final release, "I love you," she chanted repeatedly, "I love you. Oh God," she panted her breaths becoming more rapid and strained. She was so caught up in the cascade of pulses raging through her body as he pushed her over the edge that Donna didn't even notice his own unwinding until she caught words, beautiful words that sounded so familiar yet were incomprehensible being uttered in the clammy hair pasted to her face.

Her skin was flushed and skin slick with sweat as he kissed her before collapsing in her hair. Breathless Donna panted under his weight and what had just taken place between them. They stayed wrapped up in each other until they found themselves again. He slid out, coming to rest beside her. Donna nestled her head against him, resting on his shoulder with her hand caressing the tufts of hair in the center of his chest, "I could get used to his," she smiled. Taking her hand he wrapped one arm around her pressing a kiss to her hair. "You aren't leaving," she noticed.

"No, do you want me to," he worried starting to pull away.

"No, please don't," Donna quickly declared. "I mean you just always did before. This is," she paused trying to settle on the correct word, "new," she decided.

Settling back in next to her the Doctor frowned, "I was worried things would change between us," he confessed. "This isn't supposed to happen. It's forbidden," he explained.

"Forbidden," Donna queried tilting her chin up to see his face better.

He nodded, "time lords aren't supposed to," the Doctor trailed off, "we don't. We just. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you," he stammered.

"But you did," she pushed.

Leaning in the Doctor kissed her, "yes," he agreed.

Donna pulled back meeting his gaze, "do you regret it," she hesitantly asked.

"No, never," he declared. "I didn't want to take advantage of you," he added.

Donna nuzzled into his shoulder, "like that would ever happen," she laughed. "I would have said no to anything I wasn't comfortable to," she corrected him.

"But you never have," he protested.

Adjusting herself to see his face better Donna allowed her hand to continue to rest on his chest, "I have plenty of times," she said, "just not to the things I wanted," Donna revealed pillowing her head on his arm. She watched the rise and fall of his chest feeling the coolness of his skin beneath her own, "is it uncomfortable touching someone so much warmer than you," she suddenly asked.

Laughter erupted from his mouth at the absurdity of the question, "no," he choked out.

"What is it like," she questioned.

The Doctor ran his fingers down Donna's bare arm while still holding her hand with the other, "you know when you wash your hands in public places and you expect the water to be cold? But then sometimes it's hot and it's not unpleasant, it's just different," he tried to explain.

She shook her head, "I think that explanation got a little away from you," she chuckled.

"Things just kind of escalated," he offered.

Pressing a kiss to his chest Donna smiled up at him, "that happens to you a lot," she chided.

"Yeah," he answered staring at the gold band on her finger.

Noticing his sudden absence Donna nudged his arm, "where are you," she pushed.

Continuing to fiddle with the band he met her eyes, "marry me," the Doctor stated.

"What," Donna laughed rolling her eyes.

"Marry me," he repeated not dropping his gaze.

Suddenly finding herself uncomfortable she shifted focusing her attention on her toes that were brushing up against his under the covers, "I can't," she dismissed.

"Why not," the Doctor pushed.

Donna couldn't meet his eyes. Instead she shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know. I mean," she paused unsure of the answer he deserved, "we haven't even been on a proper date," she suggested.

"I can fix that," the Doctor promised.

Scrunching he face she continued to gaze at his hands on hers, "I mean we don't have to."

"I want to. We love each other, we're having a baby. Isn't that what you've always wanted," he asked confused.

She finally met his eyes, "all I ever dreamed of was wanting to have a family.

"Then say yes," he said hopefully.

Thinking over his answer this just all seemed so surreal. She didn't believe in destiny. But they had seen their future. They were clearly married. Did she even have a choice in the matter? She had to have one right? "No," Donna startled herself saying.

"Really," the Doctor questioned surprised almost as much as she was.

Donna burst into giggles shaking her head and brought her hand to her mouth, "no. I didn't mean that," she laughed. She turned to face the Doctor practically crawling atop him, "of course I'll marry you dumbo," she beamed meeting her lips to his.

The Doctor quickly pushed her off leaning over Donna frantically searching for something among their discarded clothes, "what are you doing," she laughed.

"Searching for my tie," he grunted half upside down. Using the moment to run her hand across the Doctor's bare side he shivered as she strummed her fingers across his ribs, "do you know where it is," he questioned.

"It doesn't matter I was thinking we could have a shower," she suggested.

"Not if we're about to be married," the Doctor protested.

Donna shook her head, "oh now I know you certainly have a death wish," Donna boomed, "if you think we can get married without even telling my mum that we're even engaged," she warned.

"Your mum," he panicked popping back up from the floor.

She nodded, "yeah, you know family. You're supposed to share good news with them and she doesn't even know I'm up the duff," Donna explained.

"I'm never going to see our child be born," he whispered, "she's going to kill me," the Doctor realized looking like he had just seen a ghost.


	12. The Ties of Family

Terror. Terror was something Donna had seen the Doctor face head on millions of times. Terror was his crying screams in the middle of the night. Terror was his fear of losing someone he loved. Terror was the repercussions of his life style. Terror however was not, at least to Donna, standing on her mother's doorstep waiting to ring the bell. "It's going to be fine," she comforted him reaching up and straightening his tie. Moving her hands to his hair she ruffled it back up out of the almost Alec state the Doctor had brushed it into, "I love you so she will learn to. Gramps already does," she offered.

"I've impregnated you," the Doctor worried adjusting his suit yet again.

She pulled out a tissue mopping at his forehead, "your sweating. I promise it's not that bad. If anything she'll love you more. You're giving her what she's always wanted a married off daughter and a grandchild. In fact I'll bet she asks how many more we want," Donna assured him.

"Are you sure we can't just offer him up as a sacrifice once he's born. If we have something cute to distract her we might fare better," he tried.

Donna smacked his arm, "shush. Our child will not be sacrificed to anyone got it spaceman," she growled ringing the bell without warning him.

He would have ran if she hadn't taken his hand interlacing their fingers, "tell him I was a hero," he gulped wriggling his fingers.

"You prawn. Of course you are, well," she began cut off by the door opening.

"Donna," Wilfred greeted, "how long has it been eh," her gramps winked opening his arms for a hug.

Briefly letting go of the Doctor's hand she embraced her grandpa, "I've missed you," she sighed falling into his arms careful not to press too hard and let him feel what used to be a pleasantly plump stomach and had begun to fill out with her child.

"Come in, come in," he ordered shaking the Doctor's hand. "I'm glad to see you've been taking good care of my granddaughter," he noted closing the door behind them.

The Doctor's face went white realizing his routes of escape were closing off, "it's okay," Donna soothed noticing his enhanced startle reflex. "Is mum around," she asked.

"Yeah, she's in the back gardening," smiled Wilf finding himself a seat.

She felt the Doctor's fingers tighten around her hand. "Is she having a good day or a bad one," questioned Donna.

"Oh it's always a good day when you're around sweetheart," he chuckled.

Nodding toward the kitchen she smiled, "I'll just pop out then," she explained as the Doctor's hand tightened even more. Turning to him Donna cupped his cheek, "it's going to be okay. Remember to breathe," she beamed tiptoeing up and pecking his lips before leaving him with Wilf.

"What was that about," asked her Gramps.

Donna turned pointing her finger at him, "no. You'll find out soon enough," she shushed him turning her finger to the Doctor, "not one word. Unless you want to make mum mad," she warned hearing him gulp in fear. Amazed at the fear a simple human could cause him Donna turned making her way outside.

"Look what the cat dragged in," Sylvia scoffed crouching over a flowerbed.

Sitting on the stairs she shrugged, "please don't start," she asked not wanting to argue at this moment.

"Someone has to. I can't pay this mortgage on my own," snapped Sylvia, "I'm still trying to pay off that botched wedding," she reminded Donna.

She opened her mouth, "I plan to help mum I really do," Donna tried. "I'm just preoccupied at the moment but I don't want you to have to worry about that."

"Yes gallivanting with that horrid man. Why you chose him over Lance," she spat, "he is nothing but trouble," Sylvia accused.

Worrying the hem of her shirt Donna shrugged, "Lance didn't love me," she began.

"Oh and he does? Don't think I didn't notice he's turning you into a Barbie doll. How much did those cost," she charged point at Donna's breasts.

Swallowing hard she had to bite back laughter, "he isn't changing me. It's just the shirt," Donna reasoned. "Anyways," she began forcibly making a point of the subject change, "we were wondering if you would like to come out to lunch with us. You and gramps," she suggested.

Sylvia twisted her wrist glancing at her watch, one that once belonged to Eileen, one that Donna had borrowed for her wedding day. "We," she supplied, "I take it that man is here?"

"Yes, the Doctor is here," Donna corrected the use of his name. "If you give him a chance I'm sure you'd come to love him," she began.

Her comment struck Sylvia off guard, "tell me you don't. Men like that don't settle for women like you. The traveling and way he treats you will end. He'll abandon you like the rest. You'll be back here with me picking up the mess again," she remarked.

"He isn't like other men," she explained. "Please come, I'd like it. He'd like it. Gramps is coming," Donna suggested.

Eying her daughter suspiciously Sylvia pushed herself up, "and what do you expect me to talk about with that man? How he ruined your wedding and whisked you away to continue some distorted fantasy," she pushed.

"I'm not living in a distorted fantasy," she protested. "Is it so much to want you to get to know the man I want to marry," she blurted worn out.

Stopping short her head snapped to Donna's frame, "you think someone like him would marry you when you're giving it away," she questioned.

"I know he does," she commented, "and I'm not just walking around giving it away either. I love him and I'm going to have a life with him is it too much to hope that you'd want to be apart of it," Donna blurted trying to keep her composure.

She came up sitting beside her daughter pointing to her hand, "you're already married then?"

Donna forgot about the ring. How stupid she chastised herself internally. "No, not yet," she revealed.

"Okay," Sylvia agreed as if deciding on something.

Their eyes met, "okay," Donna queried. She didn't think her mum would take the news this easy.

"I'm not promising to like him," she warned, "but I'll go to lunch. You can't just expect me to accept a man who ruined my daughter's wedding, wasn't around for the aftermath or while her father," she trailed off swallowing hard. "Then he just swoops in months later and takes you away with him like nothing ever happened," Sylvia let on.

Unable to believe her ears Donna threw her arms around her mum, "thank you," she proclaimed. "I know you'll love him," she promised making a note to keep the time traveling alien bit secret for now.

"But I want to be at your wedding. You hear me? No running off and secretly eloping in the middle of the night God knows where," she harassed.

Reaching her hand out Donna offered Sylvia a smile, "deal," she agreed shaking hands. Striding into the kitchen she couldn't help but laugh at the scene before her. The Doctor was standing, hands in his pockets rocking on his heels looking anywhere but at Wilf and not uttering a word. "You know I didn't mean you couldn't talk, just not spill the beans," Donna giggled pressing a kiss to his cheek.

His eyes widened in fear as he stiffened seeing Sylvia behind her daughter, "Donna," he snapped worried.

"It's alright," she calmed him, "she knows," Donna revealed interlacing their fingers.

Visibly relaxing he smiled, "knows what," Wilfred asked.

The Doctor threw his arm around his fiancé, "that Donna and I are having a baby," he beamed.

"You're what," Sylvia screeched.

His eyes shot to Donna, "I thought," he began.

"I told her we're engaged," she frowned.

"You're pregnant? Is that why you're getting married," she demanded to know.

He shook his eyes, "no," the Doctor squeaked. "Technically we were engaged before. The baby is a pleasant surprise," he explained.

Sylvia marched toward them, "tell me this then," she growled.

"Mum, please don't," Donna begged.

"No, Donna I have a right to know a few things if he claims to love you like you both say," shot Sylvia. "Where were you after you broke my daughter's wedding off? You just drop by dash it and run off? Where were you the entire year Geoffrey was sick? When Donna needed someone to hold her hand? Not so much as a phone call that whole time," she pushed.

Swallowing hard he squeezed Donna's hand, "he was traveling," supplied Donna before he had a chance to answer.

"And you couldn't come back or make a phone call," she argued.

"Donna didn't have my number. I'm so sorry, I really am but I had no idea about your husband," he apologized.

Refusing to take his words at face value she glared at him, "what about after the wedding? You just drop her off at home after ruining her one chance at getting married? I'm assuming you didn't plan to make a honest women out of her at that time. Then you come back, snap your fingers and she goes with you," she accused.

"I, I didn't ruin her wedding and just leave her," he attempted to defend himself, "I wanted Donna to come with me," he explained.

She shook her head, "but you didn't take her," growled Sylvia.

"That's because I said no," Donna interrupted raising her voice. "I told him no. He asked me to but with everything that happened I was terrified. I had to figure things out on my own. I didn't realize what a mistake I had made until the next morning. I regretted it every day since and started searching for him until Dad got sick," she reasoned.

Crossing her arms Sylvia shook her head, "terrified. What did you have to be terrified of," she spat.

"Lance tried to kill me," Donna yelled. "He tried to kill me and the Doctor saved my life," she blurted.

Thankfully the Doctor had super speed refluxes as Sylvia's legs gave out he caught her ensuring she had a seat instead of landing on the floor, "he tried to kill you," she whispered. "You saved my daughter's life," Sylvia continued gripping his shoulders. She turned to her daughter, "why didn't you tell me," she questioned.

Crouching before her she shrugged, "I guess I didn't want you to worry," she supplied.

"Where is he? He needs to be in jail," Sylvia urged.

"He's suffered a fate worse than that," the Doctor softly answered.

She looked over meeting his eyes, "he's dead?"

Donna nodded, "yea," she acknowledged.

Wilf had been standing there with his hand over his mouth, "the star," he recalled bringing their attention to them.

She nodded, "Racknoose," Donna named the thing that had tried to take her life.

"Racknoss," corrected the Doctor.

Rolling her eyes she laughed leaning back against him. Donna pulled her legs up toward her, "what is a Racknoss," Sylvia asked.

"It's an alien mum. I guess we better tell you now. The Doctor isn't from Earth."

Sylvia cackled louder than Donna had ever heard her before, "now I know you're having me on," she laughed. As Donna, the Doctor and Wilfred looked on serious faced Sylvia's laughter died down, "right," she clarified, "but you look human," she tried.

"You look time lord," the Doctor told her. Donna reached over smacking him, "ow," he cried rubbing his arm where her fit had impacted as Wilf chuckled on.

"Does it really matter," she asks softly, "Lance was black," she reminds her mum of how she didn't care that he was different because she thought her daughter loved him.

Her eyes fall to her lap and Sylvia refuses to look at any of them, "where are you from," she finally musters.

"I'm from a planet called Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous," he notes. Donna grabs his hand tighter knowing how talking of home is for him, "they're gone now. I'm the only one left. Earth is home," he pauses looking at his fiancé, "Donna is home," he smiles.

Nodding she looks at the two of them, "this traveling then. I take it you weren't on Earth," she pushes.

"No. The Doctor is a time traveler. Time lord to be precise," she automatically corrects herself, "he has a box that we go around in," Donna confesses.

Sylvia looks to her father, "you don't seem surprised," she accuses, "you knew?"

"Christmas," Wilfred nods.

Donna shakes her head, "wait what," she sputters. "I only told you when we were in town with the Atmos incident."

Nervously scratching the back of his neck the Doctor sighed, "ah that would be my fault. Seems we've been meant together for some time. Something keeps pulling us together," he revealed, "not that I mind," the Doctor beamed pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"So you two knew each other? You had met my dad before but no one told me," Sylvia interrupted.

Worrying her lip Donna nodded, "I didn't think you'd understand. You already made your mind up about him. I thought you'd hate him more," she offered.

"I'm sorry," Sylvia sniffed. "This entire time I thought you were running from responsibility. I was worried you would end up alone and a wake up one day to find you made a mistake," she admitted. "It never once crossed my mind that you were making a future for yourself," she continued.

Tears clouded Donna's vision, "that's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me," she whimpered. Shaking her head clear Donna placed a hand on her mum's knee, "I promise I will do what I can to help with the mortgage so you don't have to worry," she assured her.

"Um," the Doctor coughed, "I can help with that," he offered. "I seem to have a fair amount of money that is going to waist and since I was the one who as you say ruined Donna's first wedding it would be only proper for me to cover the expenses," he suggested flabbergasting both Donna and Sylvia in the process.

"What," Donna squeaked, "mister I don't have cash to pay a flipping taxi has a bloody bank account with a handsome fund," she reeled.

The Doctor nodded, "to be fair we had just met and you had just found out I wasn't from around here," he reminded her tugging on his ear.

Rolling her eyes Donna swatted at him, "I hate you," she grinned.

"So you keep telling me," the Doctor beamed kissing her.

Pulling back she wrapped her arms around his neck, "you know this means I'm borrowing your debit card and going shopping right," she giggled.

"I wouldn't have expected anything less," he purred.


End file.
